Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sonnet----Working Man

looking out of my bedroom window, i see
that man toiling; sweating in dust and heat
paused he for a moment, standing on his feet
then sat down on the floor wanting to flee
deep in thoughts, he stared at the church door;
longing to escape the sun and retreat
into its calmness, and out of the street
wishing to be one with God and soar.

his employer yelled at him, he came back
out of his reverie and work yet again
practical world had intruded now
ah, well he had to get back on track
setting aside his thoughts and be sane
with renewed vigour, he toiled and how!

27 comments:

Don Iannone said...

You said: "wanting to flee deep in thoughts" ...nice image, Gautami.

Rob said...

In previous ages I guess nearly everybody would have had this fate.

gautami tripathy said...

My first Sonnet Don! Not easy to write these. I am only following the rhyming pattern, iambic pentametr be damned.


Rob, in my country, nothing has changed. Its still like this. Only thing maybe I should have written, temple instead of church.

Rauf said...

Survival is not easy Gautami, a dignified survival, for a man on the street or for the richest man on earth. The most primary instinct for any living organism is the will to survive, an insect a tree animal bird or man, they all have to toil.

From the worst writer to a good writer ? Now you are disqualified Gautami.

Mike said...

Good job on this sonnet Gautami! Good job with the form - those are always challenging, but great exercises! I like how you conveyed the refreshed-ness of the man after his moment of reverie. It's a good reminder that sometimes, all we need is to create the space to take a breath.

gautami tripathy said...

I know rauf, thats exactly I wanted to convey here.

I feel so bad that I am not going to get that worst writer's award...:(

gautami tripathy said...

Thanks Mike, I am not very comfortable with structured poetry. Sonnets are not easy to write but I had to do it as I was challenged by someone very dear!

Here I wrote what myself have felt in beteween working and rest...

Rauf said...

I was about to post a comment here and I get your comment in my blog Its a strange coincidence that we are reading each other's blog perhaps at the same time.

I took a bit longer because i have to type this stoopeed word verification.

Rauf said...

Ah forgot about the comment i wanted to post here and posted something else instead.

I am not a good writer, I don't claim to be a good writer, but that doesn't stop me from writing.
I let my cat do the grammer and spell check

Within Without said...

Gautami, you have the soul of an observer and the ability to portray what you see in your own way.

Some of your other posts are glimpses of what you see right in front of you (like the lizard and the insect), others are very highly charged (like the guy who wanted the woman but decided he should love her first instead).

Thanks for visiting me and I'll be back for look-sees now and again...

Darius said...

That's true, it doesn't take long to have a meaningful respite during the day. And whatever your job is, it helps keep you going.

angeldust_xtc said...

sometimes we all need to stop and smell the roses. The poem gives a sense of rejuvenating.

goatman said...

You may have a duck but you must come to claim her. One now has a tiara of feathers ; I call her princess.

A quote for ye:
"The thing that astonished him was that cats should have two holes cut in their coat exactly at the place where their eyes are." by G.C.Lichtenberg

Peace, GM

Keshi said...

**his employer yelled at him, he came back

Im glad I never had such a loser of an employer.. :)

Keshi.

Anand said...

Sad reality of life!
As quoted by calvin..."Reality continues to ruin my life"!

Ghost Particle said...

very very nice. You know the perfect techniques...

gautami tripathy said...

rauf:Yes, no matter what, we must not stop writing!

gautami tripathy said...

Thanks within, without, This is one good compliment. I do write about what I see around myself or write about whai I feel about issues...

You are welcome to look-sees!

So will I?

gautami tripathy said...

Yes darius, we do need breaks to revenate ourselves.

gautami tripathy said...

Thats what daid in reply to darius, angeldust!

Thanks for the visit!

gautami tripathy said...

OK Goatman, keep that duck for me! I will claim it one day soon!

gautami tripathy said...

Yes, Keshi!

Thanks Anand for the quote!

And warm welcome to you, Ghost! Where were you?

obifromsouthlondon said...

ode to all workers taking a break. how sweet it is to flee into those deep thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Looks like you are getting lots of feedback now. Congrats!

jeff

Homo Escapeons said...

Ah yes the meek shall inherit all of the dirty jobs!
Beautifully expressed, as always.
Have you ever heard the song by Elton John (Phil Collins redid it too)..
'burn down the mission'
..heard that in my head while I was reading your work.

poesy said...

Gautami,

you write beautifully well

vasanta

gautami tripathy said...

Jeff, I have always had that! Its you who came in late!

Thanks homo escapeons, Elton John/Phil Collins used to be in my play list.Heard that long time back, I think!

Thanks Vasanta! Keep visiting!