Wednesday, July 26, 2006

hypothesis

you say i have both your attention, your heart
but not appreciative enough about that.

when have i said otherwise, how can you surmise
all that I did say? gut wrenching feelings i disguise

from you, never letting you know, hurting inside.
with a smile on my lips, no pain showing outside

i return to you again and again, without rhyme
or reason. loving you mindlessly is no crime

why do i then feel so sad? why does the pain
is such that i feel numb? my thoughts drained,

my mind empty, my heart so full, spark of hope
still alive. What will i do, how will i cope?

when you go away again, never to look
back. i must seek some answers in life’s book.



i wrote it sometime back when i was in very black mood but haven't got around polishing/editing it. posting it here in the original form i wrote. please feel free to critique....

12 comments:

Ghost Particle said...

nice one...

Don Iannone said...

Gautami...I really like it. Lots of feeling.

samuru999 said...

I liked it very much!
As Don said... lots of feeling!

gautami tripathy said...

thanks ghost. you haven't been here for long. welcome back!

don: when i wrote it i was in a very emotional, charged state. never came back to edit it as i couldn't do that.. thanks.

samuru999: thanks. am trying to stabilize myself now..

Keshi said...

**loving you mindlessly is no crime why do i then feel so sad? why does the pain
is such that i feel numb?

cos the love u r giving may not be returned the way it should be...

Keshi.

Percival said...

It's all right.

I have returned from fishing.

Liquidplastic said...

No critique is necessary for poetry, because it speaks from the individual heart, and who, other than yourself can say what you feel...

Sometimes, others might not agree, but it is in darkness that we find our light. So creating there is as natural as breathing.

Thanks for visiting me. - Amias

Darius said...

Makes me think of the differences between love and other forms of psychological attachment - not meant, of course, to cast aspersions on any actual relationship you're referring to, just looking at the lines.

gautami tripathy said...

keshi: why do we want love to be returned? thats not what i meant here. ..

percival: i am so glad you are back...dancing with joy..

liquid plastic: i agree. poetry is very personal. we do not need critiques.

i have seen light after the darkness. thats what matters.

darius: well, i don't know how to answer you... maybe you are right...who knows? love has many manifestations...maybe it was not love.. i really don't care any more..

as i said i wrote that long time back..couldn't post it before this. .

Homo Escapeons said...

I wouldn't change a thing..the heart wants what the heart wants.

You said that you were in a black mood when you wrote this. My neice just returned from a year in India and brought me a movie named BLACK by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Have you seen it? I really liked Amitabh Bachchan is he a big star?

Within Without said...

Sounds to me like if you were hiding and disguising gut-wrenching feelings and hurting inside, and pretending not to be hurt by not showing your pain, and returning again and again for more of the same, and feeling sad...

...that you were giving a whole lot more than you were getting or should have expected to get.

OK, you were in a black mood. But how did you cope? What answers did you need or find in life's book?

Darius said...

But don't forget, I was reacting to the poem-itself - how the lines affected me - and not to any actual relationship of yours, which obviously I don't know anything about and wouldn't dream of "analyzing!"