Thursday, April 26, 2007

of bygone eras----Villanelle---Poetry Thursday.

Poetry Thursday wants us to write a villanelle. I posted the previous one as a warm up for this. This is my second one. I find that those are not as difficult as I had thought. I wrote this in seven minutes flat.


of bygone eras

peeled, decrepit walls, mildewed paints;
stale air circulating reminding of life
of bygone eras, albeit mild complaints.

not long ago, lived in here some saints
going on with daily chores without strife;
peeled decrepit walls, mildewed paints.

sufficient for their small needs, faint
wants. Wisdom from them flowed, rife
of bygone eras, albeit mild complaints.

when all went away, the house fell silent
doors creaked, no one played that fife;
peeled, decrepit walls, mildewed paints.

desiring sounds in past had constraints’
wishing only silence sliced with a knife
of bygone eras, albeit mild complaints.

closed windows now put no restraints
on craving, old house to be filled with life;
peeled, decrepit walls, mildewed paints-
of bygone eras, albeit mild complaints.

................................................................

Read more villanelles....

35 comments:

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I'm so glad that I stopped by to read, and read. :)


Is this based on your own home repairs?

I do love the rhyme and the topic.

Rose

xo

Beaman said...

For 7 minutes of work this is excellent. Do you mind if I ask why just 7 minutes? Was that your aim?

You have a flare for this kind of poetry, write more of them!

'...the house fell silent
doors creaked, no one played that fife;' - this line stood out to me. The image and the sadness.

Brian said...

Very good. The image of the house falling into slow decay, paired with the visions of what used to be. Powerful words.

etain_lavena said...

WOWi....you rock...7 minutes and it is this wonderful....:)
go girl:)

Sasha said...

Wow. Quite nice! I loved the line 'sufficient for their small needs." If only we all had small needs what a better place this world would be.

I'm not sure if I have commented before, but I always read your PT posts with pleasure, and this was no exception.

Carole said...

It's such a good opening line and it flows from there. Thanks for visiting my blog.

ozymandiaz said...

This form is very reminiscent of Poe for me.
Seven minutes? It took me longer than that to write this comment...

Regina Clare Jane said...

HA! I'm with ozymandiaz! Seven minutes! You are brilliant, Gautami! I loved that passage about "saints going on with daily chores..."- it's just so poignant.

gautami tripathy said...

Rose: It is not about my home repairs. It is from my imagination!

beaman: I timed myself. Actually I had given myself 30 minutes. But it just kind of flowed after I wrote the first refrain. I always write with ink on paper. Typing took more time!

brian: thanks. OLd houses which are abandoned do arouse such feelings.

etain: thanks.

sasha: you are always welcome here. Thanks.

carole: Thanks. I loved your too.

ozymandiaz: Sometimes words flow. Sometimes they get stuck for months.

Regina: Thanks. I read yours but blogger did not let me comment. I will do so after a while.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Not bad for seven minutes! You paint an atmospheric picture here!

Beloved Dreamer said...

Wonderful my dear. I know I could not have done as well. Bravo!

love-bd

amy said...

Seven minutes? Bloody hell, that's fast! And you gave yourself some tough lines to repeat. Way to tackle the form at the knees.

Tammy said...

It took 30 minutes too figure out the math. LOL Well done!

sage said...

Wow (as I often say when reading your poerty), and in 7 minutes, that's not fair!

polona said...

wow, gautami, stunning work!

Rob Kistner said...

Dear Gautami -

I really enjoyed "feeling" that the house had a history, and is now a home again.

Very engaging.

--and so it goes--
...Rob

Rethabile said...

The short time you did this in is intriguing. You must consider doing more of it. The sound is pleasant, rocking. And you did it while adhering to the form.

desert rat said...

Wow, from the struggle with words expressed in the first villanelle, to the ease with which this one flowed - you are a fast learner! And it works nicely as a poem regardless of form, very effectively created atmosphere.

Mike Mc said...

The first stanza set up an image that carried all the way through, good job.

January said...

Wow! Seven minutes? I'm impressed.

This is a good villanelle. Now I'd like to see what you would do if you had 10 minutes!

Remiman said...

gautami,
I think once you get the hang of it, the villanelle doesn't seem so daunting. ;-)
You make this work almost effortlessly. I think you probably think in poem form most of the time.
rel

iamnasra said...

I really enjoyed this one it had a flare into it ...

Hope you are well

Jessica said...

7 minutes? I'm jealous. :) I like that you used such concrete images for your refrain. Makes it more difficult to write, but more image laden.

Pauline said...

can't wait to see what you do with an hour and a half!

...deb said...

I enjoyed the "albeit mild complaints" refrain very much (and you language choices in general.) Saying there were complaints without saying what they might be added to the house's decrepit resiliency. Reminds me of some family members. :-)

Steve said...

Beautifully put........

pepektheassassin said...

Amazing! Mine (last week) took me about three hours. Nice work.

Michelle said...

Very nice, especially for such speedy work -- next time it needs to be iambic pentameter (:))

In any case, very nice images.

Catherine said...

Very impressive for seven minutes work - I don't agree with the previous commenter that it needs to be iambic pentameter, many modern villanelles have shorter lines - but I would suggest reading it out loud a few times to see where smoothing it would make it even better

Don Iannone said...

Great poem, Gautami. I really liked this one. Hope you are well.

magiceye said...

good one

trinitystar said...

I love your imagination here ...

pealed, decrepit walls, mildewed paints;
stale air circulating reminding of life of bygone eras,

the ghostly past still there.
:o)
hugs for you
Have a wonderful weekend

Kai C. said...

i like it.

gautami tripathy said...

Thanks all for your comments, support and opinions.

I feel that structured poetry has much to offer. Never saw that before I started learning and writing those.

I can write in few minutes on some days and and go dry for long periods.

As catherine says, flexibility is the keyword nowadays.

Anonymous said...

Only 7 minutes? That's a tad depressiong. If you're gonna write a poem, maybe you should take the time to sit down and actually sculpt your creation, than see how fast you can spit something out.