Thursday, November 08, 2007

at the end of a journey--totally optional prompts



Totally Optional Prompts wants us to write evocative poetry.

I chose a random word from read. write. poem as asked by Jillypoet on her NaBloPoMo page and wrote this 11 line poem. Hope this works for both!


at the end of a journey


you endure an ice-coated carapace,
much like a goldfish swathed by aspic.
heartbeat picking once more to full moon.


rousing too soon onto a gallery of glass,
cavorting dewdrop lets off cold tentacles.
thorns of a plant prickle as you pass.

your voyage outlines obliterated passages

like water wandering in crumbled drains.


skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
veneer of ostensible spirited strength-

giving in, you gaze into vast nothingness.

17 comments:

Andy Sewina aka Danny Wise said...

It all ends in vast nothingness - I feel like I'm floating out into space!

Jo said...

This is very good, Gautami.

Rethabile said...

My, these roots have grown big and strong. Somehow that makes me happy.

Dennis said...

Gautami - this is a particularly well written piece. Very dense imagry. I love the tone and the pace at which it moves

polka dot witch said...

i like the tactile pieces: cold tentacles (tentacles is one of my favorite images to use/read) and thorns of plant prickle.

thanks for visiting fertile ground, we've slowly allowed it to develop as it wanted to -- organically -- which is totally appropriate for our theme.

Alan Bender said...

I made love to a girl like that... I think it was in Vienna on and educational trip. Thx

Rambler said...

skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
veneer of ostensible spirited strength

very good Gautami, liked the feel the word veneer brought to the poem

Don Iannone said...

Excellent!!! WHEN is your book coming out? Write it, Gautami.

...deb said...

Beautiful words, I loved reading this aloud.

Holly Mac said...

Really wonderful! I love this line..."water wandering in crumbled drains"
So lovely!

tumblewords said...

Ah, very nice. It takes me away to bigger places...

Fledgling Poet said...

Wow, such wonderful words used to create such vivid images! I'm sorry real life has kept me away from your beautiful poetry...it's good to visit again.

Linda said...

"heartbeat picking once more to full moon" got me right here! (in my heart!) What is it about the moon that just makes a poem? Well done! ~Linda

Whirling Dervish said...

Guatami

Its always wonderful to stop by your blog and see your latest work. I am always reminded about how much peace I frequently find here.

I had forgotten you were a teacher- you're a university teacher of math, right?

my backyard said...

poor goldfish...

homo escapeons said...

Evocative indeed.

I was deeply saddened by every aspic-t of your crush-tacean's carap-lysmic demise.
I could literally feel Death's icy grip on my own tenta-scles.

This was about a Lobster getting plucked out of his tank in a busy Restaurant right...
wasn't it?

polona said...

wonderful imagery here to convey a deep meaning...