Saturday, January 12, 2008

Iron Hooks---Sunday Scribbling/Cafe Writing

Occasionally I resort to write prose which might not make much sense. I let out thoughts and write as they come. Afterwards I try to put a semblance of order to those seemingly disjointed sentences.
















His world has gone awry
Rock stays steady albeit a little tilted

Only a few souls under that umbrella

A family is deep in conversation oblivious to all else

A lonely boy watches them with deep longing
He is too far away to even listen to the sounds

Any movement in the vicinity is felt by him in his bones

Silence seeps into each pore
Dotted horizon fails to please him
Surprisingly there are not many chirping birds

He listlessly observes an ant climbing on to his right foot

How far would it go

Should he flick it away

Would it return to its home

How would the ant know where he lives

What good that would do

Why do questions become iron hooks, which trap and then tear
Suddenly, he strikes his head

It is his birthday

He has no place to go, no place to call his own

Now dates hold no meaning for him

"That thought releases him from his sorrow"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Photo Credits: Cafe Writing: Option Three.


35 comments:

Liza's Eyeview said...

hmmm.. it's a beautiful scribbling...

..but I need to ponder some more to have my own interpretation or find what you're trying to convey...

great Sunday Scribbling entry...

khambagirl said...

I love the photo!

Borut said...

Can relate to this one... To be in the mood, or not to be... A matter of choice...

Dara said...

Each line is so rich, they're like little worlds in and of themselves. Thanks for stopping by earlier :)

Just Jen said...

I like how you get two prompts in one...the horizon line was the prompt from writer's island and date for sunday scribblings. i don't know if you did it on purpose but I've tried to do two in one and I can't...lol
I love the picture and a b-day with no where to go, is not necessarily a bad thing! ;)

ThomG said...

I'm having some difficulty with this Sunday's Scribbling prompt and now I come visit you and feel inspired. Nice stuff.

keith hillman said...

As ever you have produced a stuning piece of writing.

angie said...

I love writing that conveys so much in so few lines.....the ending was a little unexpected to me.....

tumblewords said...

Interesting little story with thumps of sadness and reality.

Robin said...

Beautiful but so sad. I want to wrap him in my arms and take him home with me.

Renovatio said...

It speaks to me of beginnings. Although that's only how I read it.

Tammy said...

Very nice prose and dates can free us. I like the way you think. :) Hugs

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Wonderful scribbling - I particularly like the line, "Why do questions become iron hooks, which trap and then tear" ... brilliant. Peace, JP/deb

keith hillman said...

Gautami - as you are aware, we enjoy different disciplines. You are the poet, and I love prose. I often feel that free verse is simply prose with gaps! Join lines of free verse together and what you get is prose! I think they are more closely linked than most people realise.

Thank you for linking my site. I have added you to my blogroll too.

I was in your beautiful city a few months ago. I have such wonderful memories.

colleen said...

Reading this as the fruit is sort of funny. I love the way the word shows up at the end.

paisley said...

Why do questions become iron hooks, which trap and then tear


this line is perfection.. and is one of the things that has me beating my head against the wall every so often.......

Shari said...

He sounds like a young orphan boy just living for the moment. Very sad, but it makes me want to know more about his situation.

Heather Kathleen said...

Why do questions become iron hooks, which trap and then tear?

this line shook me to my very core. i have been haunted by questions all day today. questions of my past that are still so very painful to me and still a work in progress...

Steve said...

I truly loved this!

Mad Kane said...

Beautifully done!

floots said...

it makes ense to me
i think that awareness of self strikes all of us
blend beautifully with the pic too
thank you

nutster said...

I think I get the "iron hooks" part. It is a little more difficult for me because I find the right questions liberating. Perhaps this is the point....a continuation of asking the wrong questions can trap. My take from this line: Ask Better Questions

Dates are meaningless which is what I loved about the little boy's discovery.

Very thought provoking.

puerileuwaite said...

I enjoyed the imagery and style of this entry.

forgetfulone said...

That was a beautiful piece of writing.

Bone said...

A lonely boy watches them with deep longing
He is too far away to even listen to the sounds


Loved that part especially, Gautami. Beautifully sad.

Linda said...

As others have said, that line about questions being hooks really "hooked" me! I had to go back and read it again, it's so deep!

Anonymous said...

How sad... beautiful, but sad. Made me stop and think of how many times I see people alone and could invite them to join, and would it have a positive impact on their lives.

Dee
http://pavinganewroad.wordpress.com/

Herb Urban said...

Beautifully sad is a great way to describe this piece, and so many of your wonderful poems and works of prose. An entire universal exists within each line, waiting to be probed and explored.

thinkig aloud said...

this was sad...and beautifully portrayed but sad!!!

Jennifer Hicks said...

isn't it amazing where "random thoughts" lead? somehow they don't seem so haphazard when you think about it...it's like this is the "real" you coming out... the one that exists when you don't try so hard.

sage said...

very nice... you always have a great twist endings. I like the photo too, where is it at?

AmbiguityLotus said...

A lot of times, disjointed sentences appear as lines in poetry, but I'm sure you already know that. ;)

Anyway, you had some really great lines/phrases in this poem like:

"Dotted horizon"
"ant climbing on to his / right foot"

etc.

Thanks for sharing!

DJPare said...

Wow, so deep, with such short sentences. Nicely done. I'd love to know where your own thoughts were when you produced this!

Great photo too!

myrtle beached whale said...

you are amazing.

You have been tagged.

http://myrtlebeachramblings.blogspot.com/2008/01/meme-from-lucy.html

AscenderRisesAbove said...

what a wonderful photo
it has been awhile since I visited and you certainly have been busy!! I also liked the one where he is tapping his fingers while writing. wishing I could string words together like you

http://ascenderrisesabove.com/wordpress/