Friday, March 21, 2008

dancing comes full circle



this world has been there
from a long long time
reptiles inhabited it,
we came along much much later.
seasons come and go,
air swirl about, dancing-
thunders bring about rains,
which disappear into
womb of the earth.
dried seeds travel far and wide
uniting the world in a way
incomprehensible to humanity.
mountains stand tall
with a disdained look.
the sea centres in the midst,
hiding unfathomable secrets-
sometimes throwing those at our faces
with shimmering rage.
the world would still exist
(even when we all disintegrate into nothing)
with new life forms,
newer dimensions.

"are we having a sense of Déjà vu?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote the above after reading Mary Oliver's Where Does the Dance Begin, Where Does It End? Is it imitation? I don't know. It is more like my interpretations. However, it sure feels sloppy compared to hers! Posting this for World Poetry day exercise at poefusion as well!

Mary Oliver's Where Does the Dance Begin, Where Does It End?
Don't call this world adorable, or useful, that's not it.
It's frisky, and a theater for more than fair winds.
The eyelash of lightning is neither good nor evil.
The struck tree burns like a pillar of gold.
But the blue rain sinks, straight to the white
feet of the trees
whose mouths open.
Doesn't the wind, turning in circles, invent the dance?
Haven't the flowers moved, slowly, across Asia, then Europe,
until at last, now, they shine
in your own yard?
Don't call this world an explanation, or even an education.
When the Sufi poet whirled, was he looking
outward, to the mountains so solidly there
in a white-capped ring, or was he looking
to the center of everything: the seed, the egg, the idea
that was also there,
beautiful as a thumb
curved and touching the finger, tenderly,
little love-ring,
as he whirled,
oh jug of breath,
in the garden of dust?


40 comments:

Don Iannone said...

Enjoyed this very much. Mary Oliver is one of my favorites. She is from Cleveland, where I live. Hope you are well, Gautami.

January said...

I love imitation poems because it opens up so many possibilities.

Love your version, esp. this phrase, “sometimes throwing those at our faces
with shimmering rage."

Shimmering rage is nice.

rebecca said...

as the spark of creativity that jumped from mary oliver's poem, yours was very nicely done.

i especially liked, "thunders bring about rains,
which disappear into, womb of the earth." the womb of the earth.....how symbolic is that!

Billy said...

It has a similar theme, but so do a lot of poems. I liked yours very much!

polona said...

well, there are similarities between the poems but i wouldn't go as far as to call yours imitation. each has its own value .

tumblewords said...

Nice take on the prompt and the Oliver poem. 'the world would still exist' is fine phrase, too!

Am In Trance said...

Simple N' Nice....

Badhiya Lekhicha...

misterscott said...

i'm not quite sure who mary oliver is but you took her theme and ran with it.
very well done and a good job..had a similar idea but the choice of words made the difference for me...
thanks..
and i'm glad you like my new layout:)

Jeques said...

I love both. The poem which was the source of inspiration is stunning, and the product that spring out of the inspiration, your poem, is equally lovely.
Your poem could stand alone, it has its strong points and the personal touches makes it original.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Cricket's Hearth said...

"mountains stand tall with a disdained look" - I particularly liked that description. Makes me wonder why the mountains are unhappy with what they see.

Borut said...

Nicely done… I’ve just read that turtles have been on this planet for 200 million years… I would not be surprised if the expression Déjà vu had, long before the French, been used by them… They've seen most of it!?:)

Kai C. said...

thats beautiful..how have you been lately?

iamnasra said...

As always ..your poetry takes me back ..a journey

Steve said...

Come dance with me!

Steve said...

OH and Happy Birthday!

noahthegreat said...

Awesome.

Ghost Particle said...

thats world history in 5 minutes. and its good. and its not imitation.

but i tink without us, the world would be a pretty boring place.

Keshi said...

how well can ya write WOW!

Keshi.

PoisOn CoAtEd ELiXir said...

wow! you've taken deja vu to another level. very different, very unique, both-the thinking as well as the writing!

Manictastic said...

That's the brievest and most lyrical description of the history of earth I ever read. :)

paisley said...

i do believe the world evolves in a circular motion,, and that it has a plan that we as humans have no means of understanding.

Donn said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GODDESS!
I will never forget our first encounter "One month and 25 postings later I received a comment on March 21st, 2006, from some guy in India!"

Which I have apologized for on numerous occasions, judging by your old avatar I didn't know that you were a beautiful, intelligent, woman.

You always strive to make this experience meaningful and encourage others to raise the bar. Your dedication to making blogging a growing experience and more than just a social network is commendable.

I was ten feet off of the ground when you came to visit me back then and I always look forward to reading your detailed thoughtful postings. You are a real mentor, explorer, editor, and friend out here.

Both your praise and frequent consternation have given me far more than you will ever know.

You are an amazing Earthling and I wish that there were 6.6 Billion just like you..
but there can only ever be one
Gautami Tripathy.
XXXX OOOOO

poetry4kids said...

Hi Gautami Tripathy,

Thanks for your support for World Poetry Day. You are now on the contributors list on http://worldpoetryday.blogspot.com
Please post a back link. Thanks.

Have a great day,
happy easter,
Milou

Michelle Johnson said...

Guatami, I love your interpretation of Mary Oliver's poem. You have done a very nice job. I agree that your poem could stand alone from Oliver's. Thanks for participating. Have a nice day.

Shephard said...

Unfathomable ... perfect description of the mysteries of the oceans. :)

Michele says hello.
~S

Aaarti said...

Wow, that was very nice..also enjoyed the mary oliver piece...

btw, happpy Birthday lady... [if i am right 22nd is ur bday...] :)

Constance said...

Lovely! I like how everything is interconnected, and that we are just transitory. :)

Robin said...

air swirl about, dancing-
thunders bring about rains,
which disappear into
womb of the earth.

The frenetic, ever-changing but still cyclical dance of nature. I really liked this Gautami.

zouxzoux said...

I love Mary Oliver's poetry....my favorite is "Last Night the Rain Spoke to Me". Your interpretation is a compliment to hers. Each has it's own cadence and merit. Beautiful!

Rambler said...

Happy birthday!...

I liked the end..somehow never expected this ending..

LN- Nickers and Ink said...

Love the imagery here.

"Unfathomable secrets" - that is so good!

Happy Easter!

Linda

http://nickersandinkblog.blogspot.com

Beloved Dreamer said...

Tami, I just love these lines"thunders bring about rains,
which disappear into
womb of the earth. Ah, your a girl after my own heart. Great stuff.

toujous, lanie-bd

paris parfait said...

I like your version of the poem, Guatami - it's a lovely tribute to Oliver's poem, with your personal twist. And I particularly like the phrase shimmering rage.

shubd said...

Hello Gautami

First of all Belated wishes for your birthday . :)
I found your concept of applying "deja vu " to Nature rejuvenating herself rather novel .
Liked especially the line " mountains stand tall with a disdained look"
I havent read Mary Oliver but the poem that gave you your theme is lovely .

writersisland said...

Gautami -

The circle of life is, in its basic essence, a déja vu - certainly for the living planet. I like this! ;)

...Rob

Crafty Green Poet said...

Hi Gautami, sorry you had a problem with Milou not crediting your work properly. When I had offered her my poem she had added my name at hte bottom and a link at the top which was fine, but I think she was not always so careful. It seems that she has improved the crediting a little better now, but yes you were right to be annoyed.

jadey said...

What a great post and the words are vivid and let your imagine think and create their own images. Hope you have a wonderful Easter.

Ghost Particle said...

birthday?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAUTAMI!!! :D
many more happy returns of the day.
HUGS!

Thinking aloud said...

belated wishes ..hope you had a great birthday!!!

loved your poem...esp these...*hiding unfathomable secrets-
sometimes throwing those at our faces
with shimmering rage.
*

Jane Doe said...

This is a great poem. I thought these lines were fantastic:

seasons come and go,
air swirl about, dancing-
thunders bring about rains,
which disappear into
womb of the earth.

I love the idea of the Earth being a womb. Great use of the prompt!