Sunday, February 22, 2009

twilight moments

moths die out
in the flickering light

sun diffuses
into twilight


mislaid within arroyo
of my mind-
my euphoria


*******

twilight thoughts
move in a whilrwind
creating chaos
TWILIGHT THOUGHTS
create chaos
moving in a whirlwind
twilight thoughts

Go join the NaisaiKu Challenge!

34 comments:

SweetTalkingGuy.. said...

Hi Gautami, Many, many thanks for joining in on the week one challenge - it wouldn't have been complete without you!

I never knew twilight thoughts could cause such chaos, phew!

The NaisaiKu.. Challenge!

Wendy Naisa said...

Gautami, thank you for thinking of us on week one and for playing along.

It's just a bit of fun!

Jim said...

Hi Gautami, thank you for the first of your verses. I knew something died at twilight, I even spent a little time with Google. I never did run across 'moths.'

Your last is circular. Guess it moves in a whirlwind. ;-)
..

Jeeves said...

The first one, brilliant. I like the usage of arroyo.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

euphoria- I've always loved that word. :)

Greyscale Territory said...

Love how simple words highlight a word (like arroyo) imbued with dimensions and layers of meaning! Beautiful read!

anthonynorth said...

Excellently done, as always.

Mandy said...

I prefer to see a future still in twilight.

spacedlaw said...

I love those two pieces and the naisaiku sounds like FUN.

SandyCarlson said...

I enjoyed the movement in both of these. So much energy!

dsnake1 said...

i love the images in the first poem. :)

qualcosa di bello said...

i like the spiral movement of the second half

it is wonderful to see you in your profile photo too!

Pam said...

The stanza about euphoria is wonderful.

The response to the NaisaiKu challenge was fun to read and see the pattern.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Sun diffuses
into twilight.

Wow. Such a neat way to word it.

!nversed Poignancy! said...

Lovely word play there..Liked the idea of periodicity that you've used..Good One!

duckAluck said...

a dry creek is easy to walk over ...

Sue said...

our minds are filled with gullies and channels carved by the habits of thought, what a profound image.

polona said...

wonderful stuff... the first one is special.

Deborah Godin said...

You're really getting me intrigued with the "palindrome haikus" (I just made that up) I think I'll have to try one out myself. Enjoyed all your work here!

susan said...

Going to have to check out the Naisaiku.

Beth P. said...

loved thinking of mislaying my euphoria somewhere in the arroyo--those twilight shadows are so tricky!

Thanks for all--

Stan Ski said...

The state of mind that causes us to dream?

floreta said...

the mind seems to be most busy and chaotic at nighttime..

dreamscapes said...

that was a nice poem.. :)

how r u friend?

Deeptesh said...

Hi Gautami,I joined poetry train.Hope u all visit me.I still can't paste that button,I need a little bit of more help 4m u.

And comment on my poem also.

deepteshpoetry.blogspot.com/2009/02/song-woman.html

Sage said...

I love that first one--wow.

Donn Coppens said...

So, you are obviously a big fan of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

I loved the movie because of all the foreshadowing. That's the best thing about Teen Movies..you feel so smart because they drop 1,000 hints in the first ten minutes. My wife, who has read all four books, wrinkled her nose at me because I correctly guessed what happens throughout the series.

Unfortunately, like an arroyo, this feeling of accomplishment only temporarily fills the dry creek bed of your mind and it soon evaporates. These are my Twilight thoughts on Teen Vampyre Books.

Lorraine said...

You have a way of just stringing thoughts after thoughts with sensitivity and common sense, pretty awesome!

Tumblewords: said...

Good response to the challenge! Arroyo is a full word even though it generally represents not full. Something about that word sends me wandering.

kitehorse said...

deep within the sog of my boiled four pound cauliflower

an arroyo of discontinuity creates its own chaotic bicameralism

not for nothing did the old me make all those payments

Tammy said...

You did the challenge! Nice job! I loved your first one too.

Maggie said...

My thoughts do seem to be like a whirl wind at times during twilight hours and can keep me from sleep.

James said...

Nice. I like the repetition in the NaisaiKu. It works well with the whirlwind and chaos.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Tami, this is great. I love how you added the NaisaiKu form to the end.I will try and write one myself. Lovely poem full of colors swirling and soft.

love, Melanie-bd