Wednesday, February 10, 2010

yet another one for you, dad

quite clearly I hear my father
climbing up the stairs

with a inviting smile
I open the door wide
in that expanse of landing
I see empty nothingness
yet feel his righteous presence
while my heart soars
my lucid mind tells me otherwise
he has been gone for few years now
and can not be salvaged
I close the door
lean against it

quite clearly I hear my father
climbing down the stairs

20 comments:

Americanising Desi said...

and indeed this is touching :)

Lucid Picture

anthonynorth said...

Beautifully done.

Crystal Phares said...

Beautiful.

David Masters said...

Heart-rending, sad, yet beautifully written.

Your style is childlike, innocent - capturing the pain of a father, lost - but certainly not childish.

Unknown said...

The italics are so interesting, the way you've used them. It really changes the way I read it, even in my head. Thank you for sharing!

sarah said...

this is lovely and so poignant.

Crybbe666 said...

A great piece. Enjoyed this one as much as any of yours I have read, if not better.

Kelly said...

I liked this very much.

Andy Sewina said...

Wonderful, and long may he live on in your memory!

<3

dearmyth said...

Beautifully written. With a style like that I can't help but feel a little bit wiser in some way.

Jay R. Thurston said...

I am certain your father would be proud to be honored by your talent of writing.

Touching, and well done!

Angel said...

Beautiful.

madeline d. murray said...

Your love and sense of loss sing through this piece, Guatami. It's beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

quid said...

Lovely... my own father had his righteousness, too.

quidrock

Thom Gabrukiewicz said...

Really felt this one.

Bill said...

The repetition-variation of the first and last lines is very effective.

Thomma Lyn said...

This is lovely -- tugs strongly at my heart.

Lilibeth said...

A very moving picture. I wanted to gasp in disappointment.

http://gildorianne.blogspot.com/2010/02/prayer-for-my-last-days.html

Fiona Glass said...

Oh, that's just stunning. I don't usually 'do' poetry but this really drew me in; you captured the immense sadness, and the faintly sinsiter air of the last couplet made me shiver.

Sepiru Chris said...

Hello Gautami,

This ones seems to speak to a lot of folks here, Gautami.

I like the repeated opening and closing stanzas, and how they sandwich "the moment".

There are aspects I keep wondering over, which I always enjoy. Thanks, Gautami.

Tschuess,
Chris