Wednesday, September 01, 2010

pitching forward


I have taken a wordle from one that briarcat made from her own poems. Those words are different than what I normally use and I like that.




I can hear the hummingbirds
while I toss the salad
I expect the girls to arrive at any time
seasons have gone
predictable we weren't ever
what kind of celebrations I expect now
when I bolted out last time we met
yet I would like to make amends
to pitch forward like a rocket
I try to save the smoking sizzlers
wishing to break something
my glasses sit foolishly on my nose
wounds don't show on the surface

"in mathematics, two negatives do make a positive"

22 comments:

anthonynorth said...

Nice touch at the end.

Mia Mirza said...

I just love the last line!

flaubert said...

Gautami I agree the last line does make so much sense!
Nicely done
Pamela

barbara said...

Hmmm. They don't look like such bad words after all. At least now they have had a good home. I like the imagined "pitch forward like a rocket to save the smoking sizzlers", and foolishly for glasses--don't I know about that!

Mary said...

Very impressive...especially since you wrote it without thinking! I add my applause re. the last line.

Just someone said...

like the others before said, the last line is great!

Nice piece...

ThomG said...

I will agree with everyone else, the ending is wonderful.

Jay Thurston said...

Quite a challenge to incorporate so many words. Good job!

shail said...

A reverential 'Wow!'

Tony Noland said...

Well done!

Angel said...

Lovely piece.

Elizabeth said...

I can feel that note of anxiety running through the poem, and how our thoughts run in all directions when we feel that way, not knowing exactly what to expect, but hoping for the best. I like the fact that you exchanged wordles and wouldn't mind doing the same.

Elizabeth

Ramesh Sood said...

Ha! as usual, the last line took the breath away.. Gautami..well done..

gautami tripathy said...

For a mathematics teacher, the last line is almost an everyday occurence, while teaching!

A cliche, I may add!

:D

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I like the bit about wounds that don't show on the surface, but the last line...oh, how fun!

Dreamer said...

Ooh! Loved the last line!

ladynimue said...

this was superb !!! amazing :)

Brian Miller said...

you put them together nicely and close strongly...nice.

Amity said...

and unlike poles attract each other!

loved the ending Gautami!!!

irene said...

Yes, like the last line too.

Mahesh Kalaal said...

The last 2 lines made the post fabulous and impacting

tasmith1122 said...

Very, very nice. I love the way the unusually paired words create an unexpected feel. Thanks for visiting me and leaving the link. Come by any time!