Wednesday, October 13, 2010

eternal enemies

slithering smoky snake
suspended to strike
slips and spins over
smooth surface-
self-respect in shreds

massive mongoose
with malicious eyes-
materializes
out of nowhere;
meanders towards

the hissing snake
to strike that huge
reptilian head.
eternal enemies from
eons gauge each other.

mongoose pauses
with a ridicule
gaze, turns around
to go the other way
leaving snake alone.

absolved now,
reptile breathes easy
closes its eyes, relieved.
just as the mind eases
mongoose strikes for kill

"lesson of survival, be on your toes always"

24 comments:

Mary said...

Yes, a good lesson indeed. The snake's wiles are definitely renowned since the beginning of time. Sneaky thing!

Derrick said...

I wonder what the tally is between these eternal enemies?!

Diane T said...

I love your survival lesson at the end. I agree with Mary - snakes are sneaky things!

vivinfrance said...

Yes, Diane, snakes are sneaky, but mongooses (geese?) are sneakier. This lovely alliterative poem reminds me of Kipling's Rikki Tikki Tavi!

Dreamer said...

Eternal enemies indeed! It's a story in a poem. Lovely!

nimaruichi said...

A lesson one can't afford to forget

jaerose said...

This really had the feel of a fable..expertly done..Jae

Elizabeth said...

There is more than one lesson to be learned here. I agree with Viv, the alliteration, especially in the first two verses, is superb and makes the imagery even more vivid. Snakes are a symbol of transformation because they shed their former self and move on, yet how many of us applaud the mongoose because it slays the sanke?

Elizabeth

Deborah said...

I love the way you wrote this, really enjoyable to read aloud, well done :o)

Ramesh Sood said...

Very beautifully crafted and thougt out.. a good lesson there..

Susannah said...

I love all the S's in the first verse and the M'ms in the second.

I agree it had the feel of a fable.

Nice writing. :-)

My 3WW - Spotlight.

VL Sheridan said...

Poor snake. Never turn your back on an enemy.

ThomG said...

The ending sums it all up wonderfully.

Marianv said...

You kept me in suspense through the whole poem, Snakes ARE sneaky!

LeiffyV said...

Great vision of the eternal struggle between two rivals. Fantastic!

Lost in thoughts said...

Nice story in a poem...There is an Indian song on the same lines...Wonderful

http://mangop.blogspot.com/2010/10/absolve-great-quality.html

senderupwords said...

Great lesson here. Love and Light, Sender

Peaceful Pandemonium said...

Great use of the three words this week!

Nanka said...

A nice tale of the Snake and the Mongoose but the lesson it imparts is important in life. Enjoyed it and well said :)xs

Someone Is Special said...

Nice take, nice message.. Loved it..

--Someone Is Special--

clare said...

Hi Gautami, really good suspense and imagery -- I liked this!

umapoems said...

Nice poem with a Moral!

Sumit Sarkar said...

A very good fable... :)

pia said...

A leson we should all learn early but often don't