Wednesday, August 31, 2011

red of life retreats in a cart

he drags his feet
hiding his face
that red umbrella gives him cover
(the red bag is a dead giveaway)

grilled door barred his entry
he had to retreat
lonely as a finger
(his mumbles unheard by anyone)

his stance, no one recognized
so unbecoming
yet a part of him
(nothing can penetrate his psyche now)

he walks on in the rain
dark clouds thunder over him
his profile blurred now
(his kindness muddy under his feet)

"if only he had held on to the wheels
the cart wouldn't have been abandoned"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It has been more than 10 days since I wrote anything. My words were clogged and refused to come out. Today they did, and let me hope, they are out for good. I am not pleased with the above poem but happy that I wrote something...

24 comments:

siggiofmaine said...

Thank you for your unclogged writers block...
I can clearly see what the form of the prompt looks like. I am new this summer to trying any form other than free form or haiku...
Enjoyed reading your post...will be back for more !

☮ Siggi in Downeast Maine

Alice Audrey said...

(his kindness muddy under his feet) is wonderful imagery. I hope the words keep flowing for you.

- Alice

Sheilagh Lee said...

I'm glad you got rid of the writer's block. this is a wonderful poem such a lovely picture it paints.

charleslmashburn said...

Sometimes you just have to sit down and write something--good or bad. This seems quite good to me. I do belive you're back!

My entry for this week: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/28/forever-changed-2/

Morning said...

perfect phrases,

we all shall know how to manage our mindsets.

irene said...

The title and the portrait is intriguing.

Ann LeFlore said...

It is geat you got over your writers block. I loved this poem. If you have time my entry this week is http://www.gatelesspassage.com

Kay L. Davies said...

I know how it feels, when the words are gone, and when the words finally come back.
Well done.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

ayala said...

Glad you wrote again....nicely done.

Shauna said...

your poem reads like a metaphor for
the writers' block you've gone through.

Tumblewords: said...

Intriguing. More than a soupcon of mystery in this and there's nothing like a red bag to make one wonder.

mareymercy.com said...

his mumbles unheard by no one

I love the complexity of that line!

oldegg said...

I agree with Audrey "his kindness muddy under his feet" is brilliant. Even I have felt that at times! I wonder too whether letting go of the wheels did not permit him recover and try again? You are certainly back with a vengeance!

vivinfrance said...

A hauntingly beautiful poem. Not a sign of writer's block!

BTW in stanza 2, did you mean "heard by no one" or "unheard by anyone"? Because as written, it means heard by everyone!

Andy Sewina said...

Nicely Gautami, love the bracketed bits!

Elizabeth said...

I would think this prompt was easier for you as you always end your pieces with those wonderful slant glances in italics. And again, that last line pulls this whole picture together. Glad to know you are out of the Block. But the drive to write usually finds a way to get to the surface.

Elizabeth

gautami tripathy said...

Viv, thanks! It was a mistype but I changed the line!

jaerose said...

There is a struggle in this character..an uneasiness of disappearance perhaps..a brilliant piece though..we all need a little scribbling break now and then..Jae

miss pie said...

love the combination of color and emotion rippling just beyond the letters crashing into each other.

Linda Jacobs said...

Oh, that kindness line is awesome!

I've been word clogged also this summer. Hate it! But, it's happened before and I know enough to just let it unclog itself. So frustrating, though!

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Tami, how much your poetry has grown. Love this stanza "he walks on in the rain
dark clouds thunder over him
his profile blurred now"
beautiful work with powerful images.


Melanie

neil reid said...

Sometimes we just need to take a breath or two or even ten, and I think that's fine. And if this is what writer's block paused to produce - fair trade perhaps. Me, I like this poem very much (so I'll take the gift even if you're not impressed). Some poems too, simply want their own way despite what we think we had in mind.

neil

The Cello Strings said...

faith is important.

blessings.

Bluebell Books said...

You write fabulous poetry/stories,

Please check out short story slam week 9 today.

Hope to see you around.

Best!
xoxox