Sunday, February 05, 2012

gunned down

metallic sheen of that dart
fuses into a dubious scar
ruins send me into an exile
my rebellion streak saves me
your petulant smile revolts me
I hide behind billows of dust
latch of that trap door opens up for me
I fall down listening to staccato of guns

if there is a lesson in all this
I can't see it
it isn't a case of sour grapes
it is more like I lost my grip

"I am caught in the quagmire of war-
of words or bullets, I know not"

17 comments:

jaerose said...

Gunned down by words or bullets..each leaves it's own distinct scar and dust..another interesting and clever write..Jae

brenda w said...

Gautami, this is an excellent contribution. I like the voice in the second stanza. The final couplet seals the narrator's discontent.

Laurie Kolp said...

This is one of my favorite Sunday Whirls! I, too, like the ending.

Daydreamertoo said...

Sometimes words can hurt every bit as much as bullets do, and, the scars might never heal.
Fabulous, descriptive, writing.

Denise Moncrief said...

"if there is a lesson in all this I can't see." That is indeed very frustrating. Very nice, reflective piece.

Taylor Boomer said...

love this.

flaubert said...

The horrors of war. Well penned, Gautami.

Pamela

barbara said...

Sometimes I get the feeling I'm at war with/against the wordle words. quagmire, indeed.

oldegg said...

What an indictment of the conflicts we see around the world. When patriotism and honour are our spurs to aid devious, unseen and hideous plans.

Cathy said...

my rebellion streak saves me
your petulant smile revolts me

Love those lines

Nita Jo said...

Your words are very powerful. So often we can't see the lesson in the things that are happening.

Roswila said...

"it isn't a case of sour grapes
it is more like I lost my grip"

Nice how you get to this surprising take.

Brian Miller said...

war wether in words or reality are both a waste of life...

Jerry said...

the parallel is spot on. the end is tight and sticks.

Teresa said...

This is quite the amazing poem. It's different from most of your poetry.

Teresa said...

My last comment sounds bad. It's not that your other poems aren't amazing~this simply shows the depth of your writing.

Sandra said...

interesting energy in these words!