tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post6264822165755463216..comments2023-09-29T15:38:34.435+05:30Comments on rooted: it hurt like a dead man's callinggautami tripathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04192356825699543613noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-5486080312068801942009-05-30T13:44:04.613+05:302009-05-30T13:44:04.613+05:30should have been dead man walking!should have been dead man walking!Whitesnakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681488364720396274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-31883217563901816462009-05-30T09:32:57.639+05:302009-05-30T09:32:57.639+05:30hmmm very nicely done...sonds like a good canadian...hmmm very nicely done...sonds like a good canadian ballad to me....KD Lang...Neil Young or Leonard CohenWayne Pitchkohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15376196523487344143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-45532764715714981422009-05-29T22:21:43.063+05:302009-05-29T22:21:43.063+05:30For some reason this reminds me of a scene from a ...For some reason this reminds me of a scene from a movie in black and white, maybe forties era.<br /><br />I know that's totally subjective - no idea why I get that!Paul Maurice Martinhttp://www.originalfaith.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-1597870351216648722009-05-29T20:54:25.399+05:302009-05-29T20:54:25.399+05:30after the quarrel
two cigarette butts
side by side...after the quarrel<br />two cigarette butts<br />side by sideBillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10717622168200846486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-61211358716149296972009-05-29T18:55:28.474+05:302009-05-29T18:55:28.474+05:30I was moved to read it with and without the refrai...I was moved to read it with and without the refrain...and it worked well both ways, but the refrain really adds something here. I LOVE it. Plus your words were very visual...which is something that I look for when I read poetry. Good work, Gautami.<br /><br />-NicoleRaven's Wing Poetryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08576438868694047958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-64961137073381232302009-05-29T17:54:01.832+05:302009-05-29T17:54:01.832+05:30there's a lot of tension and pain in this. and th...there's a lot of tension and pain in this. and the refrain works, holding the piece together. Like watching a series of film stills. :)dsnake1http://dsnake1.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-23236898867982650792009-05-29T13:19:49.465+05:302009-05-29T13:19:49.465+05:30I feel a ballad coming on. Nicely done.I feel a ballad coming on. Nicely done.anthonynorthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06680944720744601697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-18364649558726384532009-05-29T11:09:34.982+05:302009-05-29T11:09:34.982+05:30I can hear the dead man calling. Is this what kil...I can hear the dead man calling. Is this what killed him? Or is it a slow death we all endure?gabriellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14488809730387509552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-61722257757856313682009-05-29T09:54:35.206+05:302009-05-29T09:54:35.206+05:30Love the pauses and the flow.Love the pauses and the flow.Jeeveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02059095696768768954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-88067628941722377552009-05-29T09:51:32.414+05:302009-05-29T09:51:32.414+05:30The refrain really ties everything together with a...The refrain really ties everything together with a sense of hopeless pain.Erin Davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03428693832930474044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-59000043888255930462009-05-29T08:08:14.402+05:302009-05-29T08:08:14.402+05:30Very emotive and poignant piece - the repetition e...Very emotive and poignant piece - the repetition emphasizing pain and sadness.Janice Thomsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02506920585319893814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-25059488482010607732009-05-29T07:29:18.346+05:302009-05-29T07:29:18.346+05:30I felt like I was standing there watching the scen...I felt like I was standing there watching the scene. I especially liked the line "head was somewhere on the roof." That was really unique. Also "damaged irreparably" because it's so true. And the last stanza with them getting in each other's way. Such a great metaphor.Bonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-50559767354648399742009-05-29T06:25:46.084+05:302009-05-29T06:25:46.084+05:30Yes, this refrain is very unique! I say that it w...Yes, this refrain is very unique! I say that it would work as a song!Linda Jacobshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14459940700516084069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-34765073136378320412009-05-29T04:29:46.518+05:302009-05-29T04:29:46.518+05:30The refrain makes this work and holds the piece to...The refrain makes this work and holds the piece together as a song. And I think it would still work as a poem without the repetition.<br />I love the way you got the 'bitter end' onto the last line.andyhttp://properjoes.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-53260220426856955972009-05-29T00:00:04.399+05:302009-05-29T00:00:04.399+05:30I'm really curious about this whole dead man's cal...I'm really curious about this whole dead man's calling thing. It seems to hover over everything, as if it's as real as the metaphor it's being used as. <br /><br />Or is it?Susan Helene Gottfriedhttp://westofmars.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-66956297374314886222009-05-28T23:32:51.688+05:302009-05-28T23:32:51.688+05:30From the first two lines you already set a painful...From the first two lines you already set a painful, empty, mood between them, clearly written for us to feel, not just read. <br /><br />This is really great.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-85565959087447482732009-05-28T20:50:45.393+05:302009-05-28T20:50:45.393+05:30This captured me straight away: "with all that sil...This captured me straight away: "with all that silence between us / I kept on inhaling cigarette smoke" sets a tone that keeps getting at the pain in a place of division.Debhttp://stoneymoss.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-75588833143222440622009-05-28T19:42:27.991+05:302009-05-28T19:42:27.991+05:30The refrain is haunting.The refrain is haunting.irenethttp://eneri-hot.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-31964738719083116462009-05-28T19:12:21.919+05:302009-05-28T19:12:21.919+05:30Yes, the refrain provides an excellent punctuation...Yes, the refrain provides an excellent punctuation to the movement of stanzas.Nathanhttp://disorder1313.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-72181436391958952242009-05-28T19:02:21.520+05:302009-05-28T19:02:21.520+05:30//you kept on staring beyond me// ... so touching....//you kept on staring beyond me// ... so touching...<br />this piece beautifully sad...<br />well penned...Rajlakshmihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05947753574286557864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-53227594475371619862009-05-28T17:43:43.691+05:302009-05-28T17:43:43.691+05:30Why does it always hurt so bad when two people go ...Why does it always hurt so bad when two people go there separate ways? You've written this piece conveying that pain, well. Have a nice day.poefusionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15157059633840032305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-55195737968105852352009-05-28T17:38:07.143+05:302009-05-28T17:38:07.143+05:30Gautami, this is really good. I think it is one of...Gautami, this is really good. I think it is one of the better pieces you have written. I liked the repetition of verse to contain and emphasis the emotional pain. It was a punctuation of the moment.Donald Harbourhttp://woodennickel.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13825130.post-76302257028141119922009-05-28T16:05:16.784+05:302009-05-28T16:05:16.784+05:30The refrain sets up a really interesting tension i...The refrain sets up a really interesting tension in this pieceCatherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08236329216260906624noreply@blogger.com