admiring the gardens,
what do I truly see
blossoming flowers,
fruit laden green trees-
dandelions blooming
along with sweet peas;
puddle of rain water
or is it my pet's pee?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a re-worked post. I thought it suited the prompt rather well. As I seldom write anything light like this, now I wait for brickbats..:)
Well, you made me laugh. No brickbats from me.
ReplyDeleteNone from me either. Your take on the theme is not dis-similar from mine.
ReplyDeleteNone from me either. thank u for the point of view..
ReplyDeleteOK - not a brick-bat but a small nit-pick - do you really need that word "truly"?
ReplyDeleteotherwise it is fine.
I like it,
ReplyDeleteVery clever wordplay.
Excellent!
What fun! I like the pun and the spirit of this piece. (There's that "pee" sound again...!)
ReplyDeleteWriting in Faith: Poems
Full of whimsy! Pee happens!
ReplyDeleteCould be both!
ReplyDeleteGautami, how marvelous a play on words! LOL! :D
ReplyDeleteHa! I like this!
ReplyDeletethis made me laugh out loud :)
ReplyDeleteYou are funny. This does not deserve a brikbat. It is quite amusing and oh so true.
ReplyDeleteIt made me laugh. You used rhyme to good effect!
ReplyDeleteLOL Love that funny surprise ending.
ReplyDeleteThis was great Gautami! Loved the ending. The link worked fine, that you left over at MPP. Hope that's the end of the problems, stopping by here. The last couple of times, everything went wonky!!! ;<(
ReplyDeletewww.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
Nice rhyming scheme. The ending surprised me, really funny.
ReplyDelete*grin* Very clever!
ReplyDeletebrick bats? what are they?
ReplyDeleteI guess ya lightening up just a little...........
and that is cool........
sweet as!
a bit like you......
Ok ya want brick brats....
ReplyDeleteIt had no substance...
It flowed like a mudslide ..all over the place...
the words used didn't even come close to what ya tried to say....
the stanza was not existant
the spelling was terrible...
oh and to top that off I didn't get
...
Other than that I thought it was great!
Pets do give us their all! A puddle of pee is wonderful! Especially, outside in the garden!
ReplyDeleteChuckle!!!!!
the last line is a killer :-)
ReplyDeletelight hearted smiles... dandelions, everywhere...
ReplyDelete