Thursday, August 23, 2007

blood in the streets---Poetry Thursday



After a long summer break,
Poetry Thursday has come up with an idea of "taking one of the poems we’ve already written and use the last line of that poem as a jumping-off point for an entirely new poem" or "why not (with proper attribution, of course) use the last line of a published poem as the first line (or even title!) of an original poem.." i.e. last lines, first lines.

I have taken the last line of Neruda's "I'm Explaining a Few Things" and used as the first line for the following poem.



come and see the blood in the streets-
bodies severed, tangled, unrecognisable

spilt red fluid ties them as nothing else did


your fight has gone too far, don’t you think?

children orphaned, revenge is in charge

yet another generation pulled into it.


a lone man holds his head in his hand

pictures of horror embedded in his mind

knowing not what was it that hit.


sirens of doom foretell unheard terror

ignoring the dead, picking the severed;

sound of a child’s cry fills the street.

come and see the blood in the streets-
although, why would you even think of it,

it is not your blood trickling, is it?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This goes out for all those who think that violence can solve all problems ailing this world--- world leaders, Religious fanatics....you name it, they are at it.

To read more poetry, click here...


49 comments:

desert rat said...

They never do see it, do they? If they did, it would be hard to imagine how they could make the decisions they do.

(I have to admit to having to shake my head and start again, since the first line made me think of The Doors - blame the very early hour. Thanks for the link to the Pablo Neruda poem, btw, I haven't read that one since high school.)

joezul said...

Well, the hopelessness of it all. As long as greed rule the world, it will never end. You write with such intensity. I like it. :)

Crafty Green Poet said...

violence certainly doesn't solve anything.

Dick Jones said...

How strikingly relevant to the UK at present, where knife & gun crime is rife.

Brian said...

Your poem strikes at the cause of the blood in the streets. The soulless killers who hide behind empty slogans and flowers.

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

It's not my blood. It is my soul that runs in the streets. Haunting my dreams.

Rose

xo

GreenishLady said...

A very strong piece, worthy of the line you chose. Well done!

Antoine said...

Much like a story,a story well told, jus my kind of poems. its beautiful!

Constance said...

A powerful piece- and worthy successor to Nerudas line.

Pat Paulk said...

Very powerful piece Gautami!!

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I wanted to hide my head under my pillow and not read this, but I knew you would do the line justice; I read, you did. Now to get the images out of my head enough to function, but your words have to be said.

kate said...

well written! Sad but well done!

paisley said...

you did an excellent job on this,, as the picture it has pained in my mind,, will not soon be forgotten...

in the loop said...

I thought it was very fitting that the violence seems to be repeating itself toward the end: "sirens of doom foretell unheard terror/ignoring the dead," even after so much has happened. I think one of the terrible things about the epidemic of violence is its cyclical nature. Good work on a tough subject.

Bob-kat said...

Hi Gautami. Thanks for vidsiting my blog via Michele's. Always nice to see you :)

This is a fantastic poem and so very apt for the times we live in. Unfortunately.

Hedwyg said...

Oooooooooh - viciously powerful! This is a tremendous poem. Wow.

AnnieElf said...

Violence is never the answer as your poem clearly illustrates. Thank you, G, for visiting my poem this morning. It is gratifying to know that there are others who don't find tears yet feel the grief. Blessings to you and yours.

Tammy said...

A very powerful poem and well written. The ending was an excellent reminder of how we have become numb to war in other countries. If the media gave more vivid casualties of our boys dying in the same streets, would it change? What if it was happening in our backyard?


I tried a Villanelle inspired by you. It nearly killed me and it's bad but I kept it. :)

Left-handed Trees... said...

So strong...you honor Neruda with your force!
Love,
D.

tumblewords said...

The power in this is incredible - truthful, challenging and vivid. Great!

Abzdragon said...

Wow... this was really moving and vivid.

(I love Neruda too <3)

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

That was so good, Gautami, you really brought truth out in it.

Thank you.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

...deb said...

Too bad the people sho should read this, (probably) won't read this.

Holly Mac said...

So moving and emotional. Thank you, it's tough to embrace these topics, but you have done it with grace.

odessa said...

hi gautami,

its seems that we are both inspired by neruda this week. your poem is so beautiful and moving. i, too have been haunted by this line the first time i read it a couple of months ago. i love the image of "a lone man holds his head in his hand". great job with the prompt!

wendy said...

so much easier to send the soldiers in, than look at the results.

very nice!

Fledgling Poet said...

So very hard to read, but so powerful...this was beautifully painful, and so true.

Clare said...

Right on Gautami! I like that you wrote about this subject in such a direct and powerful way -- very visual and full of feeling. Really well done!!!

Regina Clare Jane said...

This is so powerful and clear, Gautami- really one of your best yet, I feel.

Don Iannone said...

exquisite!!! well done and thanks for speaking out. that is something that is distinctly gautami. showing up in your poetry and teaching. that you do.

puerileuwaite said...

This is the same reason why I don't attend School Plays.

MissMeliss said...

Brilliant.

I love the intensity of the words, and the imagery you conjure, even in so stark and sad a subject.

BreadBox said...

Gautami: a difficult poem to read: I suspect a difficult one to write too.
I have to admit I didn't hear the Doors in the words even in the first line --- strangely enough, in my head I heard Neil Diamond, of all people, voice cracking as he half spoke, half sang the words. His voice might work.

Michele sent me, since I'd neglected to come by myself for a few days...
N.

Gilson said...

That's exactly what I want to stop seeing. I still pray for a day in which war and killing will belong in the stupidities of the past. Powerful writing!

PI said...

That is a great idea Gautami and such a powerful result. I love poetry -it really does sooth the savage breast. wish I could write it. Hi from Michele!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I was just over at Pat's and saw her comment to you about this poem and just had to come over and read it for myself. She is so right....Very Very Powerful and what you say is so true. Violence never really solves anything...And those perpetrating the violence never seem to get that, especially when it is not their blood or the blood of their loved ones that is being shed.

Melody said...

I'm not one really for poetry but this one definetly stirred the soul. Well done...

I'm here via Michele today. Enjoy the rest of your weekend...

Paul said...

Morning. Here from Michele's. By coincidence I have an anti-war post up on my great blog today, too.

Mike Davis said...

Thanks for stopping by again and I will certainly try to have a good vacation!

That's another fine piece of poetry, worthy of the subject!

'B' said...

Another fine piece of work gautami!!!

Here from Michele's this evening...

my backyard said...

a powerful poem!

Norma said...

A powerful poem--one of your best, I think. And you have certainly met the challenge.

Thanks for stopping by my PT.

liz said...

I love the last stanza. It hits hard and makes me feel a bit guilty.

gautami tripathy said...

This is not about the common man. It is addressed to all those who practice violence and perpetrate it. They feed on it. How many of those spill their own blood?

polona said...

when will they ever learn, eh!
powerful and pooignant poem!

Marie said...

This is a powerful poem that gets me, and I hope others thinking.
The shortness of poetry drives the stake right to the heart of the matter...violence doesn't solve anything...and yet this is the way we humans try to solve things.

I felt that I wanted to sit next to the man with his head in his hands because I felt I could feel his helplessness and not being able to do anything about this unnecessary violence...

The most poignant line is the part where it's not their blood being spilt.

You are such a gifted writer.

sage said...

Powerful stuff Gautami, you do show how violence most often creates more problems than solutions. The line about drawing in a new generation rings so true.

dsnake1 said...

and then today i saw in the news the bomb blasts in Hyderabad....

ish said...

Is it blood shed or the cause and purpose that matters? So true, religious fanaticism is quick to blood, quick to despise sibling humanity, quick to play God. But then oh dear, can you think of any freedom to create (including poetry) that was not, at some time, bought with blood? (It is popular to blur the morality of wars and murder.)