transient

it is two o'clock-
time when someone else’s love
becomes transiently yours

springs of March

renewed in the springs of March
my new avatar
is but a shadow of my previous one
I prefer it this way
a plastic smile
doesn't fail me
mechanical motion
is good for the soul
real and virtual merge at a point
I grin at the nonsensical things
somewhere in the falsified life
I feel a tremulous breeze blowing
which wraps around me
engulfs this avatar, strips it bare
leaves me with the older version
I fall in love with myself yet again
Isn't March great to be a birth month?

stewed poetry

a single word rests in the shade
another follows it,
standing at a distance
after a while both come closer
one by one words come out them
I catch each one
place on a paper
juggling around I get a poem
not something original
yet not a copy
it is something like a magician conjures
out of nowhere it seems to everyone
yet it had been there right under their nose
thus the words have always been there
only a few gave them semblance of order
I don't claim to be one of those
but for a poet
I don't do too bad

you too come, catch a few a words
do make them memorable in poetry of stew
it ought to be relished by all not just a few

doing the undoing

I come undone
in totality
when your brazen hunger
nuzzles me
I nuzzle into you
my hunger is not brazenly defined
yet it too totally
does you in

birthday swan song

song is but a joy
illogically I sing offkey
on my birthday today

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today it is my birthday. I had looked forward of it being the best one of my life but that didn't happen. So what? I can still celebrate it, can't I? I will gift myself with some jewellery, I am hankering after. Another pair of Platinum studs and of course, books. What else should I buy? I wouldn't mind suggestions.

as a dirge it truly sucks

time ahead intimidates me
demands a piece of me
I turn askew
and sing a dirge silently
letting the aura slowly fade away from me

I look at my immaculate fingers
painted so meticulously,
each one ringed too
I think sadness has no place here
I can't let it rule me

I squint towards the sun
rays of light blind me
yet warmth permeates me
washes away the negatives
I am left with tranquilty

"when a new aura sets around me,
I welcome it illogically"

now close, now open

my magenta bed cover
mocks me. my turquoise
night wear clashes with that.
I fumble on the mattress
and let mists of sleep
block me out
nightly shadows
cast furtive glances
on the mirror

when morning sounds wake me up
the sun looks down on me
fern on my window too mocks me
magenta turns to maroon gold
I stare at it unseeingly.
misty tears trickle
fast and furious.
I am stuck with my closed plans
how do I open them now?

where did you hide my parachute?

when you threw me from the sky
you didn't even allow me a parachute
but I landed on moss
which cushioned my body
but a sharp piece of glass pierced me

that shard underneath my skin
dissociated pain from my weary mind
when I removed that glass
my sluggish pulse raced ahead
I only see the blood dripping

I wipe it with a rag
also brush away the debris
in the midst of it all
I search for my heart
to put it back in the place

only a hole is left there,
where there used to be my heart
absentmindedly
I admire the neatness of it
thinking, you made it or I?

special talent

your pregnant pauses-
are your only special talent
mine is to ignore

a curse or a plea

wherever you move
going this way
or that
the murmur of my sorrow
will haunt you

in your mirror
you will see only me
my smiling facade
turned into its own shadow
will haunt you

I was never there
I will never be there
yet I held a place for a while
in your mind, which
will haunt you

consider it a curse,
or a plea,
I will continue to haunt you

my arms around myself won't let me down

I hug myself
shutting everything out-
the pain is massive
tearing into my guts-
my arms around myself
hold me tight
so as to I don't fall apart.
I squeeze my eyes tight,
tearless I stay

why did I ever think
I could hold on to something
which was never mine in the first place?

that ache will be there a long time
yet I will stand upright
as my arms won't let me down

if only you lived forever

I relish that tea you made me
each sip filled with your love
as I watch the far away clouds,
I listen to the imaginary rumble of rains
time spent with you is always sacred
I cherish those moments again and again
it amazes me each time I visit you
your memory is as sharp as ever
your frail frame belies the strength that is you
and I know as long as you are there
I will be cossetted in your love

"when I finally get up to go home, my thoughts are,
if only our grandparents lived forever"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This goes out for my 95 year old maternal grandmother. She might be frail but she is a force to be reckoned with. I have been thinking of her a lot and this came out those thoughts...