Saturday, August 11, 2007

Coping Mechanism-----Sunday Scribblings

Sunday Scribbling has got Goosebumps this week.

Goosebumps are body’s reflexes. We have no control over those. Listening to certain kind of music or just about something that jolts us. Passion too gives rises to those. Scary situations do bring about Goosebumps.


I have always taken these as signals of the body, which prepare the mind to cope. We can call those as cope up mechanism. When my dad slipped and fell down, his hipbone was fractured. He had to be operated upon but he never recovered from that. He fell unconscious and never regained consciousness. When he passed away, and I was informed about it, my mind went blank. I kept staring at the goose bumps formed on my arms and remember asking my brother why that happened and what was wrong. With no further thoughts, I went about the business of getting our dad home before the cremation. I cannot explain but that state of mindlessness helped me cope with the immediate grief. I still grieve for him but time has healed that to some extent. Five years gone but it seems like yesterday.

i stare at nothing
grieving for you.
goose pimples appear
out of nowhere.

I am happy enough for now as my dad would have wanted me to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get more goose bumps......

57 comments:

tanya (aka netchick) said...

"life is very short... and there is no time for fussing and fighting my friend"

I'm so sorry to read about your experience.

My Dad is in the hospital right now, and I'm surely going to be dealing with similar issues very shortly.

Your words touched me.

Michele sent me your way tonight.

craziequeen said...

Hi gautami, your simple and moving poem gave me goosebumps...

Michele sent me to say hi, gautami :-)

cq

gautami tripathy said...

Tanya; I pray for your dad.
You will cope.

cq: thanks. I miss him.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You had a fine poem, Guatami. Your blog is always a good one to read.

Michele sent me this way.

'B' said...

gautami,
for me, it has been nearly 15 years since I lost my 'old man', my dad. Still to this day, I miss him...

Here from Michele's this evening...

panthergirl said...

Beautiful post. It's amazing how we move into action mode when we need to, even in the most trying of situations. Your poem is beautiful.

Glad michele sent me here today.

Brian said...

Gautami my friend, I hear your grief and mourn with you.

All my best for you and your family.

HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

A beautiful post.
Michele sent me.

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

A beautiful tribute Gautami. I hope your dad knows somewhere how much you love him.

Rose

xo

arboleda said...

you are sensitive person ...you are alive in soul and body!

Rob Kistner said...

Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this personal look into your life. Losing someone we love releases such a cornucopia of emotions. They sustain and evolve as time passes.

Herb Urban said...

Sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 23 years ago. I was still a child and had no conception of mortality at such a young age. I don't remember if I felt goosebumps. The feeling was more of a numbness and haze from the head down that slowly lifted over time, though I still can remember sitting on the bottom steps on the stairwell unable to move for what seemed like hours. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him. It does get easier over time, but the sense of loss never goes away.

Your poem is very beautiful. It moved me.

/t. said...

beauty, g

/t.

Regina Clare Jane said...

Oh, such a sad way to lose your dear dad... I am so sorry, Gautami. I know how you feel...
xo

mks said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad and yes I believe that goosebumps are a way for our body to tell us something that is more subconscious. I will send a prayer for you and your family.

Dara said...

the 9th anniversary of my dad's death is 10 days away so this is especially poignant to me. thank you for sharing and for visiting.

Betty C. said...

What a beautiful post.

BONGO MIRROR said...

I wonder about the air on earth today. I wrote something about my Dad today as well and my ability to remember it.

While the whole thing is painful, I think there's something positive to say about such memories. They remain vivid because they are deeply important. Having something that deeply important is so much better than not.

Gilson said...

Hi gautami, thanks for sharing, your honesty has a touch for healing. A big hug, take care!

iamnasra said...

It made me cry reading about your Dad...It reminds me about the death of my Dad...Now matter how long it is its still aches..now is lesser

Can we say we have gone over it ???

Bill said...

The body remembers . . .

Fledgling Poet said...

i stare at nothing
grieving for you.
goose pimples appear
out of nowhere.

This is so powerful...your mind shut down to cope, but your body was still feeling everything. You said so much with just a few words.

Paul said...

Lovely poem.

tricia stirling said...

thank you for sharing this beautiful little poem, these thoughts...

polona said...

reading this actually gave me goosebumps.
beautifully rendered, gautami.

Awareness said...

goosebumps when time stood still for you....your description allowed me to feel like i was there with you.

very moving gautami.....and the goosebumps will be a signal for you that perhaps he is looking down at your beautiful face.

take care.

Lucy said...

so sorry for your loss Gautami. I lost my dad when I was 3, thinking of him still gives me chills.
You're right that your dad would want you to be happy. Hope that you are :)

Belizegial said...

Greetings Gautami,

Here by way of Michele tonight.

It's good to know you've found peace in your dad's memory.

Peace and blessings,
Enid

raymond pert said...

My father died in 1996. I think the goosebumps came when my mother called me to say he only had a month to live. I left my job and came home. I did everything in my power to keep my mind awake as he died, to experience every aspect of his dying he could so I could, with others, help him die. I was a part of everything as he died right up to when the funeral director put him in a body bag in our house. I wonder if those goosebumps did help me cope and strengthened my will so that I could do what I felt needed to be done. The funeral ended with the whole congregation singing "God Bless America", his favorite patriotic song. I have goosebumps now remembering the thundering sound of his many friends singing, a volunteer choir.

D.O.M. Dan said...

Gautami, Thank you for the nice comment you left on my blog after Michele sent you to say hello.

Ironic, isn't it, that my post was a tribute to my dad, and your post a tribute to your dad. Best regards.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

Interesting story and a nice poem. Here, in the southern U.S., we say that when you have goose bumps, someone has walked over your grave. :)

flleenie said...

Goosebumps, the hair standing up on the back of your neck? There is no rhyme nor reason why it happens.

"i stare at nothing
grieving for you.
goose pimples appear
out of nowhere."

Very profound.

My dad passed 2/7/91, I still grieve.

PI said...

We all have different ways of coping with grief. When my father died I was cocooned by the need to watch over my mother - moment by moment. When my mother died...that's a different story. Thank you Gautami for an interesting post. I'm here all the way from UK via Michele's. BTW I love your photo.

Jennifer said...

You post touched me. I never thought of how the goosebumps would go hand in hand with the mindlessness or the lack of thought, just robotic movements of such trauma. I'm glad you ended on a happy note, that your happy cuz that's what your dad would want. That's a beautiful thought.

January said...

I was moved by your post. Thank you for sharing your experience.

And I loved your poem.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I was here yesterday, Definately worthy of another visit.

Michele sent me.

puerileuwaite said...

Hi Gautami. Sorry to read of your father's passing. I like the new look of Firmly Rooted. Here are my thoughts on the subject of goosebumps.

Goosebumps, I've been told;
are common with mammals.
Though I prefer the books;
to learning the piano.

Jennifer Hicks said...

G,

thanks for sharing such a personal experience.
i too lost my dad, and had eventually to stop asking "why". Perhaps the goose bumps are a reminder of the cyclical gifts of being gifted with life.

Just a trumpet player said...

An inspiring post, as always...

Michele sent me your way.

Karen said...

I had never thought about goosebumps in that way. I'm so sorry for your loss. We too suffered too losses this year - our oldest son who was developmentally disabled and my husband's father. It's been a sad year, but we need to find happier reasons to have goosebumps!

Michele sent me here today and I'm very glad. Hope you're having a nice day. Hello from Wisconsin!

yellojkt said...

Very moving. You are a very perceptive writer.

Kamsin said...

Thanks for sharing this very personal moment. Interesting how are mind and body provide us with coping mechanisms to get through these moments which may be impossible to survive otherwise.

Gill said...

Thanks for sharing your personal experience of your father passing, I'm so sorry for your loss. I entered a similar state of "mindlessness" when my brother was killed and it helped get me through those first few days.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

This is my third visit, Guatami. Michele must like sending me here.

MissMeliss said...

Thanks for the note you left on my blog. This entry was wonderful.

Liza's Eyeview said...

Memories of loved ones are always precious. Thanks for sharing this.

homo escapeons said...

Our stoneage brains still operate on the fight or flight system and horripilation or piloerection, remains a visible, involuntary, reaction to our immediate predicament whether it is real or imagined.

I miss my Dad every day, even 27 years later. His passing remains the defining moment and central issue in formulating my cosmology.

sister AE said...

I firmly believe that the conscious mind does sometimes get in the way of what the rest of us knows. There is no reason the goosebumps or sudden tears are not, indeed, signals.

Tammy said...

I'm so sorry you never got to say goodbye Gautami. I lost my mom suddenly too but you are so right about them wanting us to be happy.

Tammy said...

Beautiful new blog look!

Keshi said...

touching!

Keshi.

trinitystar said...

goosebumps ... triggered when we fear ... perhaps even intuition.
Inner teaching. Hugs for you.

DJPare said...

Sorry for your loss. That must have been rough. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Michele didn't send me - don't even know who Michele is... :)

I sent me. I come every week to enjoyr your Scribbling.
Don

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Amazing how body and soul can cope and respond. Peace, JP

gel said...

"feels like yesterday"
I understand that. I, too, lost my father within the past few years.
I'm saddened to read of your loss. That must have been so hard, from a mishap to him suddenly gone. :( I got goosebumps reading your post.
Sending big hugs across the miles

Marie said...

Our bodies protect us, don't they? Thank goodness. What a beautiful poem, gautami!

Thank you for visiting me from Michele's the other day... I appreciated your visit & comment.

ann said...

I came by a couple of days ago and was so moved... my father died almost two years ago, but I didn't want to mention it when I first read this as you were talking about your loss and your grief.

I now see so many others have mentioned their losses too.

All very sad

Ann