Saturday, February 13, 2010

words broken into tiny pieces

I build my words one over the other
carefully brick those in
cement the edges;
look at my work from afar
note the unevened plains
I again break each portion in tiny bits
rearrange differently
my own words give me strength
I mix it with pleasure
add gold sheen to polish
watch it reflected in your seductive eyes

"your presence takes my poetry to a higher plane"

35 comments:

Percy Bisque Silley said...

tiny pieces broken into words

I again rearrange it differently
break each portion in tiny bits
I build my watch from afar
carefully brick those words
one over the other in cement edges;
look at my gold sheen polish
note the unevened work
my own plains give me seductive eyes
strength to add
your words in the mix
I reflected it with pleasure

gautami tripathy said...

PERCY BISQUE SILLEY, stay away from my blog And if you can't, then stop rearranging my poetry and making it yours!

Don't be jealous that you can't write great poetry like me! If only you had listened to your mom...

Lorraine said...

Your words make me feel real, again, as for Sir Silley, if I may point a slight lie..as he states
'my own plains give me seductive eyes' and yet there is no mention of tri-focals.
I rest my case and my less heavy bottom due to the totally passed profile photo.

Bill said...

spring . . .
a poem asks me
to write it

The Dark Lord said...

You say it so well..One would think, correctly, there is pleasure to be derived from the "work" itself, as in watching the "finished" reflection in the beholder's eye. Is this the essence of poetry?!

Greyscale Territory said...

Love the idea of words being polished to a golden sheen! But the climax of reflection in seductive eyes is very dramatic! Great poem!

Amity said...

Hi Gautami;

beautifully weaved words, and it made a lot of sense...:)

goldenly polished!

whose Percy? oh, never mind, got curious you're trying to ward him off your blog!

anthonynorth said...

Excellently done.

Sweetest in the Gale said...

Beautiful words that speak to me...I think every person who writes can relate to how wonderfully you've expressed this feeling.

Sandra (if) said...

you polish well Gautami...:)

The Amateur Poet said...

yeah, this was really good! :)

hit the mark well, goldenly polished.. like Amity says! :)

Percy Bisque Silley said...

Dark Lord: Indeed, tho' I feel quite silly addressing you as Such, tis also my firm Belief that, as you "say:"

"There is 'pleasure' to be derived from the work itself, as in 'watching' the finished reflection in the beholder's 'eye'.

And verily Yes, Agreed: this is the True Essence of Poesy.

I am most Pleased that this was a takeaway for you from my Rendition of the poem.

I also write poems about chickens sometimes.

The Dark Lord said...

Percy.. if you felt quite silly adressing me as such, you shouldn't have taken the trouble to reply to my comment.

Percy Bisque Silley said...

Dear Dark Lord,

Yes, but I only felt Quite silly and not Entirely. Had I felt Entirely Silly then this would have been quite a different Matter.

Thank you for taking the trouble to reply.

Sincerely,

Percy

PS Do you write chicken poems sometimes too? They can be brooding.

The Dark Lord said...

And thank you for taking the trouble to re-reply which must have been immensely difficult, courtsey ur trifocals...

Tammie Lee said...

wonderful creative process~

Irene said...

Interesting idea of words are bricks.

shraddha said...

loved it...
it was amazing..

SandyCarlson said...

Oh, that reflection. This was beautiful. The creative process, love. Wow.

gel said...

yummy poem:
"I mix it with pleasure
add gold sheen to polish
watch it reflected in your seductive eyes"

I'm only blogging rarely, but it's such a pleasure to see your beautiful photo! I hope you enjoyed a special Valentine's Day. I put the url of the current post in my comment name to click.)

madeline d. murray said...

Beautiful.

Ms. Tripathy said...

I so amused to find my peaceful blog a battle ground...

Sir Silley, The Dark Lord....TRy calling a truce. I volunteer to be your mediator...

sandy, from fourwinds said...

So nice, the title really caught my attention. I like the thought of building a poem.

Mads... said...

powerful as usual..m awed by yr poetic art..grr8..!!!

Loch Rob said...

Very nice reflective piece. I like the metaphor of building, breaking apart, and rebuilding.

Tumblewords: said...

I like the building of a poem, brick by brick! And the gold sheen is a lovely image.

adreamygal said...

Loved the construction of your poetry ! Its really good :)

Yousei Hime said...

I like this. It feels a lot like my writing process. Thanks for sharing this lovely reminder.

Gordon Mason said...

Enjoyed this, particularly the image of 'note the unevened plains'.

Stan Ski said...

Well constructed piece.

Julia Smith said...

'watch it reflected in your seductive eyes'

SO lovely.

mia said...

gautami i like the idea in your
poem...like writing poetry for you
is to cherish each word.

Jill said...

This say so much about the beauty language. putting your word in other suite can change completly the meaning!

Jim said...

Tami, don't you just love these word processors of Blogger. They make poetry building a breeze, add a little here, change a word there, make another syllable, etc.

I don't read mine to Mrs. Jim, thanks for you suggestion. She probably wouldn't like the kind I write.
Or would her presence take my poetry to a higher plane?"

After all that, I like this a bunch.
..

swapnap said...

Hi There,
Good one and words definitely have a great sheen here....wonderful read.