Sunday, March 04, 2012

obscured

Image by Sarolta Ban
that hat shadows my eyes
as I look at the poster of my daughter
with overwhelming fullness in my heart
why has she gone underground?
my search has not ended
why is she unaware of my love
my concern?

when I look at her woolly mittens still on the kitchen table,
why did I admonish her for trivial issue?
now in this black and white world
I taste metal, sick metal.
I want everything returned to previous state.
I no longer care that she prefers to be herself
not what I want her to be.

"her coatless state in that picture is my answer"

42 comments:

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Wow......did THIS take a turn.........

I can feel the pain of regret.......

So nicely done!!!!!

Teagan said...

"I no longer care that she prefers to be herself
not what I want her to be."

Beautiful! I love how fully you've filled our man with regret. Very creative back-story!

JC said...

Very lovely and heartful.

annell said...

I liked this very much!

Harshad mehta said...

I can feel regret and pain here.

jaerose said...

Such a huge loss..lingers like blood on his tongue..beautiful write..Jae

Little Nell said...

I could feel the soul-searching here. Well done.

Tarang Sinha said...

Nice take on the prompt:)

Gyanban said...

Quite intense and the underlying pain surfaces so vividly.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wow, you painted this word picture so vividly......many parents can likely relate to these thoughts.....

Laurie Kolp said...

Yes, it would be nice if we could just skip those teenage years.

Manicddaily said...

Great take on the prompt! A very different direction. Well done. K.

booguloo said...

Hard lesson to learn sometimes.

The Happy Amateur said...

Our poems actually echo each other in a way, the same sentiment of allowing a child to be herself. Enjoyed the poem, thank you.

Renee said...

Striking words filled with the emotion of someone who cares.

Chèvrefeuille said...

Great poem. Loved the read. Thank you for visiting my weblog.

Namaste

brenda w said...

This is powerful, I love it! Regret is indeed a heavy load.

Gwen said...

This is very poignant for me at the moment...someone in my family.
Beautifully said!
xx

Karen said...

A terrific take on the prompt!

Brigid said...

A thought provoking poem, really well done:)

flaubert said...

Regret is an emotional killer, Gautami. Nicely done.

Pamela

Cipriano said...

A searingly poignant poem.
It brings to mind a blog I once wrote about "home", and what it means. Or should mean.
http://bookpuddle.blogspot.com/2009/02/your-room-is-ready.html

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Gautami, you have touched the heart of every mother's fear with this. Whether they run away or simply grow away, you have their mittens, their little-girl thoughts and dreams. Fascinating. Peace, Amy

oldegg said...

It is very hard to let go and allow your children make their own way in life. Sometimes by trying to keep them close we drive them away. These are certainly words to think about.

JamieDedes said...

I wonder how many parents have ended up feeling this well.

A profoundly sad and honest poem. It will remain long in memory.

Well done ...

janaki nagaraj said...

Beautiful.

Wander said...

Sad

Wander

http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com

Lady In Read said...

loved your take on this.. mine was a little along similar lines..

Mama Zen said...

This gave me a shiver!

Well done!

Sue said...

I could relate to this one. Maybe all parents of adult children can, at some level.

=)

gjkpoems said...

very nice work... i too seek beyond the obvious...

The Write Girl said...

Stunning poem. I can really feel the regret here especially in the last lines. Nicely written.

Tess Kincaid said...

Heart wrenching...

De said...

Wonderful, seamless blending of multiple prompts. :)

Herotomost said...

We do what we think is best, but sometimes the open doors that they see are the same ones that were so attractive to us and still...we do what we think is best, it is all we can do. Great writing...loved this.

Tumblewords: said...

Surely a yearning sound and a gaping wound mark this piece. It breathes.

Fred Rutherford said...

strong piece. Love the direction you took with the prompt. The inner dialogue is excellent, really takes control of the piece, the emotions are clearly illustrated. Great job. Thanks

Bone said...

Your words are clear. Honest. Fresh. And the story is so relatable. So human.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wonderful job with that prompt!

Paige said...

your poem is an anthem for so many mothers who would rather have their
child with them as opposed to just like them.
a good ethical poem.

Ramesh Sood said...

This is a lovely post.. I am here after quite some time.. today I have put my 500th post and remembered you...came for a visit and lo, I find such a beautiful poem..magical..

I invite you to visit and read, as you called them once..some dancing verses...

http://rameshsood.blogspot.in/2012/03/my-500th-post.html

Whitesnake said...

Been watching too much Bollywood me thinks!