Sunday, August 04, 2013

existentialism

Drawing Hands, 1948 by M. C. Escher
after that long long walk
he rested his head finally on the roadside
something woke him out of that deep stupor
lost he stared at the sky above

all his life was a waste of time
if only he could go back home
each single breath propelling him
thought of it was so heavenly

holding on to a much thumbed paper
he thought of what was awaiting him
but his mind right now couldn't fathom
why was he totally lost in the drawing hands

he wished for eternal sleep
to get rid of his bottomless existence
to wipe out the ravages of war
deeply absorbed in his body and soul

holding on to the single thread of life
he wanted to escape the shadow
from the tang of salt in the air
his sense to live on took over

plans may have gone awry in the past
now was not the time to dwell on that
in the landscape of bigger things
gravity holds us all, he thought

"my mind circles and sends messages
that I need bread and also shoes-
the two things essential for existence"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Choose a poem of between ten and twenty lines.
Not a favorite poem, but an obscure poem by a favorite poet. (…this could work with an older poem, but a contemporary work is to be preferred–the tone is more suitable….)
Type the poem, triple space. Then, between the lines, fill in a new line, based on or suggested by the original line.
Next, eliminate the original poem, close up your own lines, and tinker with them to make them cohere.
Consider this the first part of a longer poem, and label it so.
Then write a companion section–Part II, and entirely your own–that extends the first part by continuing or departing from or on some otherway varying the themes and images of the first
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I chose Pickle Belt by Theodore Roethke. Click on it to read the full poem. Last three stanzas can be taken as part 2!! But I will write something else SOON....

39 comments:

Ramesh Sood said...

Somewhere in your last line I found my poem resonating with it in a different context..

I enjoyed reading a well woven intense poem..

Do see what I did with my Wordle..

http://rameshsood.blogspot.in/2013/08/in-vast-landscape-of-myth.html

annell said...

Lovely lines...and nice idea for a poem.

Stan Ski said...

Got bread, got shoes... I exist...!

Dances With Vodka said...

"plans may have gone awry in the past
now was not the time to dwell on that
in the landscape of bigger things
gravity holds us all, he thought"

So powerful and comforting!
So much emotion in this! Thank you for sharing!

Sumana Roy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherri B. said...

What a great exercise - I enjoyed what you came up with!

Tess Kincaid said...

Deep thoughtful beautiful poem...

sage said...

An interesting process and completed poem.

Laurie Kolp said...

What a wonderful writing exercise... I might have to give it a try.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wowzers! The hands in the drawing lift right off the page - exceptionally arresting work! Love "in the landscape of bigger things, gravity holds us all" very much.

WabiSabi said...

Beautiful poem, from start to finish!!

oldegg said...

What a curiously satisfying poem this is.

Miz Quickly said...

Oh, you sly girl! A Quickly+ a Mag +a Wordle

And a Poem comes out of it!

Kim @ Pouring Down Like Rain said...

I just loved this. We are all here at some point, then find strength to keep moving forward.

Kim

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

Wonderfully done! It is a feeling to which I can relate.

Sara McNulty said...

Wonderful Interpretation of difficult drawing.

Mishla M said...

Roethke's Pickle Belt is organic & full of existenitalistic pondering.

Yours organic with a narrator who goes a step beyond. He carries a picture of hands. Perhaps he wishes to re-draw is life with more meaning or original input on his part.

Both individuals seem somewhat resigned, though the boy in Pickle
Belt is feeling the first yearnings of desire. Where as your boy awaits that catalyst to explode or quiet his mind.

Helena said...

Poignant and deep. Quite touching and thought provoking, the wish for eternal sleep to rid the ravages of war.

Peggy said...

What a fascinating approach using the other poem and filling in lines, then making it all your own. This reads well as a whole. thanks for sharing this.

humbird said...

What the interesting work you done, compiled couple prompts doing these exercise! Amazing and deep...~ Excellent! ~ Thanks for visiting my blog :)

soulsmusic said...

Am intrigued by the exercise, have always loved that drawing, and the wordle words simply disappeared into your well woven writing. Three prompts, a resulting piece that is three times stronger for the effort. Beautifully executed.

Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

Cathy said...

Perfectly done!Like how you can about writing it, might try that .

himani rawat nayal said...

I really enjoyed the retrospection and the idea of breaking away from it...only if it were possible. Wonderful writing!

ed pilolla said...

i like how his sense to live took over while holding on to the single thread of life. and i like that he hung for four lines. wonderful piece.

Nanka said...

Bread and shoes of course but thank god for gravity, holds things in place and in the proper perspective!!

irene said...

Bread and shoes and existentialism, yay!

kaykuala said...

holding on to the single thread of life he wanted to escape the shadow
from the tang of salt in the air
his sense to live on took over

I love the above kind of write. It gives a salvation and hope for the future. Makes poetry a joy to read. Great write Gautami!

Hank

Sumana Roy said...

Well written lines.

Sharon Bradshaw said...

A beautiful, thoughtful poem!

Gillena Cox said...

a well crafted write

much love..

Od Liam said...

Glad to meet you, Ms. Gautami Tripathy.

And gladder to be able to read your poem.

In a whirl of gloom, we are writing our own story.

The end reaches us when the snake bite its own tail!

Beautiful!

Thank you!

flaubert said...

Gautami, what a beautiful poem, and from three prompts, Wow!

Pamela

Kutamun said...

I hope this warrior manages to bend his story ever so slightly in a different direction......thanks Gautami, lovely

JANU said...

A very thoughtful poem.

Margaret said...

...I think a place many of us find ourselves now and again...

Amrit Sinha said...

A beautiful piece ... deep and thoughtful.

Jules said...

I have always been a fan of Escher. I also like the last stanza. Though I think if I could I would go without shoes...

Thank you for visiting my story verse wordle. ~Jules

Shail Raghuvanshi said...

Beautiful.....

Precious said...

Great!