Thursday, August 21, 2008

powdered charcoal--half a poem

coldness seeps into him almost burning his skin after that intense heat
he turns towards it welcoming it
he puts out his hand, snatching it back again
why can't he feel anything in his fingers
he tries to open his eyes, finds only holes there
why is he smelling burnt wood powderded to charcoal
concentrating hard enough, he faces the inevitable truth

death can only have only colour, which is amalgamation of all others
his cremation could only come after he had died from drowning

19 comments:

Aprameya said...

That was really nice twist at the end. A pretty novel idea.

anthonynorth said...

Another great surprise there.

Linda Jacobs said...

This gave me goosebumps!

Lenore said...

Whow! Sinister, and good! Great ending.

tumblewords said...

Love the twist. But, of course! Nicely done!

Lirone said...

Very dark. I love the shifting between fire and water, heat and cold.

Donnnnn said...

Cremation and Drowning has created a wonderful tug of war for my imagination.
Love it.

Stan Ski said...

Confusion, realisation. Quite a sinister atmosphere to it, but the inevitable is taken so casually.
The style of this one works for me.

Art and Poetry said...

Its very creative and original

Whitesnake said...

Always a twist in the tail........

Brian said...

Very intense viewpoint.

Granny Smith said...

This certainly holds one's attention! Fine tension between heat and cold.

HL said...

Pretty intense. Interesting possibilities without punctuation.

keithsramblings said...

Wonderfully dark and so imotive. A gem.

Lucy said...

my skin crawls!

Crafty Green Poet said...

very vivid

Patois said...

That is superb. "Half a poem," eh? Wonderful.

DJPare said...

Yikes! Creepy. nice image!

"SunShine" said...

scary!!
nice attempt but :)