Thursday, July 22, 2010

cut and dried

lightning first,
then the thunder.
and in between the two

I am stuck with you
yellow roses do nothing for us
white ones turn to blood
rains pour from all sides
yet I am as dry as drought
isn't it strange
thunder seems so tender
caressing me, and you too
who doesn't deserve it
elemental nature
brings out the rawness
rivulets take it away
mud sticks to our feet
I stay glued to you

"give me that knife, I will cut my feet"

22 comments:

Bill said...

Surreal and effective.

Ramesh Sood said...

Gautami, you amaze me every time I visit your page..very well expressed.. perhaps it would be a good idea to remove the mud.. than cutting your feet that appears to be far too comfortable an alternative for a life that perhaps lives on the edge..

thelaughinghousewife said...

I like your line 'I am as dry as drought'.

http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

Rallentanda said...

Oh no, not another triple toe massacre!

Systematic Weasel said...

Very nice! It's always amazing to see people merge different prompts into one piece. Very creative!

-Weasel

flaubert said...

Very creative piece!
Quite dark!
Pamela

brenda w said...

The subtle rhyme at the start made me smile. Then, the ending. Desperate. Well done.

Derrick said...

An awkward relationship, once the flash of lightning has passed!

Someone Is Special said...

Wow, great work, lovely use of 55 words.. Thanks for visiting my blog...

Yours Frendly,
Saravana Kumar M

EKSwitaj said...

I agree with Bill. Also, I'm intrigued by the different functions of the roses.

barbara said...

the lines of plain speech give evidence of a wry humor. I'm taking that last line with a grain of salt.

Elizabeth said...

gautami, I envy you. I have a tendency to run straight at things, but you with that piercing side glance, pick your way delicately through a field of subtleties. Actually thought about doing something very similar, responding to one of my own. Figured I'd be here forever, so chose something else. Love your response to the prompt.

Elizabeth

nan said...

Brenda's descriptor was perfect. Desperate. This is a painful, familiar poem -- and I really love the ending.

Francis Scudellari said...

Very literally cutting... the image of the two kinds of roses is very strong.

Tumblewords: said...

Amazing piece! Great detail.

Mary said...

You say such a lot in a few words... strong writing.

caroleesherwood said...

full of effective contrasts!

Erin Davis said...

So many dramatic, effective images here! I really like it.

katrina said...

This is one really good and powerful piece, I like it very much and can feel the power in your words. A dramatic ending too, all very symbolic!

Michelle said...

I was startled by the ending and that was nice.

robotcupcake said...

Nice poem. Reminds me of making out in college during those intense lightning storms back east.

Nominating you for the "One Lovely Blog" award: robotcupcake.wordpress.com

Jingle said...

powerful piece!