Saturday, November 06, 2010

embracing weeds

I saw the message in the sky
arrived as soon as I could

weeds embraced her lovingly
ignoring her raucous breathing

her closed eyes were strung together
(I wanted those to open and look at me)

I took a blanket, covered her carefully
although I knew it was a lost cause

it was the 11th Anniversary of 10th day
of I don't recall what (wait while I think)

she obviously had forgotten it too
or I wouldn't have found her in water

I had been anticipating to meet her 
those words had already formed in my mind

"do you remember what we promised when we met...?
certainly not your inevitable death "

22 comments:

Ramesh Sood said...

Full of feelings Gautami..you always throw surprises.. thanks..

Susan B. Evans said...

I love this one. You have such a way with words, Gautami! Such beautiful poetry :)

Jackie said...

Hi Gautami, this was incredible . very nice .

Viki said...

This was so moving and thought provoking. I know it's a poem but I would love to hear much more about this relationship. Good job.

Sue said...

Unsettling. And disturbing.

(the qualities of many a good Centus)

=)

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Great job! Love the raucous breathing, and still thinking about her closed eyes being strung together.

Malisa said...

Very moving. You words have certainly set me mind alive with wonder and possibilities.

Malisa

Bookie said...

Very unusual lines and full of emotion....

sage said...

Beautiful and sad, you're so good with that twist at the end

Tracey said...

I could feel the weight of emotion. love it!

Tracy said...

That was so emotional . Mine is where I hope to be in 11 years My divorce is imminent so I need to prepare to not look back

jfb57 said...

Very moving. I had to read it a number of times. Well written.

Cheryl said...

Haunting piece, Guatami. Beautifully written and evocative.

Kat said...

I had to read this through again, very moving. And you set the scene beautifully, I can see it in my mind's eye. Very original take on the prompt. Kat

Teresa said...

What a sad piece. Very masterfully woven tale.

Judie said...

Very mooving and provocative

RockiBottom said...

wow! incredible writing. left me with an eerie feeling i won't shake for awhile.

G.K. Asante said...

You have an exceptional way with words.

Giovanni said...

Wonderful and mysterious.

liv2write2day said...

This gave me the chills. So poignant and sad. Victoria

evenstarwen said...

Gorgeous. And as someone else said, unsettling. Wonderfully extraordinary.

Jenny said...

What an unsettling and lovely use of these prompt words.

I wrote this prompt in honor of Mr. Jenny's and my 11th Anniversary which was on this Saturday! And this was such a wonderful read that it was like an Anniversary gift.

Thank you for linking.

Wow.