Sunday, September 30, 2012

ambivalence

who scurries there, I ask
feeling of tenderness long dissipated
incense sticks help me in my prayers
with a dazed look
I sprinkle holy water every where
my ambivalence empties itself into fear
my breathing steadies itself
while I look under the flaps of envelops
to find a word or two from you

"in my blurred vision
I see only creative wasteland of my past
I will plant new saplings into future
while you see to the cobbled path of my new home"


24 comments:

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love the planting of new saplings into the future. Lovely.

rdl said...

really like this one!

my ambivalence empties itself into fear
my breathing steadies itself

great lines!

oldegg said...

A poignant post, but those saplings may grow up only to remind her of her loss. Your character is determined now to accept him back but hopefully she has learned a lesson but I think not, it is too soon and the hurt too great.

Barbara Torris said...

I reviewed a book recently calle Seven Thousand Ways to Listen. The author said we do not know what we will say before we say it...our self is listening for what to say (or write) next. That is the way your poetry has always felt to me. It is a way of listening.

Thank you.

b

flaubert said...

Gautami, I love the closing on this, gorgeous.

Pamela

Jinksy said...

Cobbled paths can be hard on the feet... Let's hope the real path to your home is smoother!

Krunal said...

my ambivalence empties itself into fear....what a line

brenda w said...

The hope in the end is palpable. Love it.

Brian Miller said...

it is better to plant new trees than to focus on the wastelands of the past...

sreeja harikrishnan said...

Nice!......and thoughtful......

Mary said...

I love the optimistic ending..leaving the past behind and planting for the future.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I like the mood you have created here, a sense of acceptance and yet hopefullness. Good read!

Jack said...

Gautami,

Read 2 poems now. Both touch the heart as feelings of one who is love but not properly reciprocated told so well.

Take care

paulatohlinecalhoun1951 said...

I am so glad that you posted a link to your submission after reading mine! What a beautiful poem it is - and very evocative of my own feelings when I approached this week' Wordle. I look forward to reading more of your work in the coming days, weeks, months, etc.!

Tumblewords: said...

I like the way this moved from stage to stage. The ending is very strong.

Elizabeth said...

Sometimes love returns but is changed by time passing, and may be even more difficult because of that. Love the planting toward a future, and the knowing of the path,

Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

Cheryl said...

Great wordle.

http://happyflowerwordzoo002.wordpress.com/ said...

I could feel myself revisiting heartbreak, even the actions of prayer and incense with hopefulness and fearfulness in competition. Such a beautiful poem. Thank-you.

Happy Flower
http://happyflowerwordzoo002.wordpress.com/

teri said...

Seemingly tiny little statements. With a great big impact.

ayala said...

Nice write. :)

odyzz said...

wonderfully woven piece...liked it..


Welcome to my space and many thanks for sharing your thoughts...keep visiting ...

my heart's love songs said...

"my ambivalence empties itself into fear"

amazing line!

wonderful poem!

Paige said...

oh, i envision a woman lost in her
prayers and in her need.

you have gathered up quiet
desperation.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Incense and holy water, man, this girl is serious about "getting there" in spiritual practice. I loved the hope springing with the saplings... Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/04/little-lajwanti-lost-brothels-of-india/