the train enters that tunnel
I expect it to grab me
my ears ring with muffled sound
in dimmed light
shadows become apparitions when
the train enters that tunnel
coldness seeps into me
inaudible movement scares me
I expect it to grab me
daylight becomes night
each sound resonates
my ears ring with muffled sound
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Cascade Poem is like this:
1st Stanza: line 1, line 2, line 3
2nd Stanza: line a, line b, repeat line 1
3rd Stanza: line c, line d, repeat line 2
4th Stanza: line e, line f, repeat line 3
39 comments:
Guatami,
You have done a fantastic job on the cascade.
Pamela
Ooo, this is cool. Love the description and you explanation of a Cascading poem.
My 55 is HERE .
wow...I could definitely sense the feeling in your words.
Very very nice!!! Great job!
Tunnels always freak me out a bit. Just a bit. :o)
Mine's up HERE
I just Love Teachers!
I always learn something every time I visit...You Rock!
Loved your 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
Excellent 55! I must say I'm not a fan of those tight places either.
wow. neat form...and nice sound to this one...
This is great. It really moves along.
Excellently done.
Interesting form! good 55,
I landed where you put me but I just know
the sound would roar through me-Thanks !
Never heard of cascading. Awesome. On a personal note...don't get caught in a dark blog.
You really depicted the feeling of being in a tunnel.
Terrific job with the cascade! I felt as if I was in that tunnel...
this is brilliant! the flow is perfect and each stanza fits together like a custom made glove!I have felt this way before it is not pleasant!
Lovely flow! So well done!
nice !! wasn't this form so fun !! :)
Wonderful write and you made the cascade work for you in so many ways, rushing us all toward the tunnel and that moment of darkness. Great capture,
Elizabeth
I never heard of a cascade poem before, I loved it, I have so much to learn about poetry. Thanks for the little lesson.
Really well done! It had such a sinister feeling to it... (and I have to drive through a tunnel today. :) )
And the repetition echoes the chugging of a train, and makes this eerie. Good job!
The Straight Poop
I am claustrophobic too. But as long as the train keeps moving, I think I'm okay. :)
xo
I really like cascades--been playing with them also. this one really works the images and sounds with a nice emphasis. Enjoyed it.
It seems that the trickiest part is to come up with a good first stanza - which you did! Nice 55!
Great writing, Gautami. You really conveyed the feeling of the poem.
never heard about this poetic form before...nice..
I'm claustrophobic, too, and my chest was tight as I read this poem!
Love the tunnel in this cascade! Too cool!
Wonderful use of form to keep us in the tunnel!
I was not familiar with this form before, and I really enjoyed this. Nice job!!
-C
fabulous capture of your subject,
awesome 55.
Being on a train in a tunnel never bothered me before but now it will!
Mine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/11/flash-55-friday-stoned-november-19-2010.html#links
Oohhh... That really sounded like the words of a claustrophobic... phheeww!!
Very well written Gautami!
And the fact that you abided by the rules of the form, and maintained the essence, is really admirable!!
Bravo!!
Loved the cascade - thanks for the info about it
It had a very closed in feel
Nice 55
hope you have a great weekend
moon smile
the imagery you constructed constricted by breathing! i haven't had this feeling more than a couple of times. you really captured it and made the cascade unravel naturally!
indeed a nice job with the cascade poem.....thanks for sharing your words again
This was well done.
I thought this was an intriguing exercise.
gautami, falling in love with clause poetry... opens a whole new dimension of poetry with unique rhyme.. such as yours...
I tried to write a cascade poem, not sure if it is correct or not. Please visit and let me know if I did it correctly. Thank you in advance.
Gigi Ann
http://annsquotesandthings.blogspot.com
Gautami....
I think this was the finest example of a cascade that the Big Tent had. I didn't get a chance to write one, but plan to try this holiday weekend. It seemed effortless for you!
Well done!
quid
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