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| image by Manu Pombrol |
I sit in bottled sea
reminiscing about squandered time
green moss follows me
creating a stormy lane in the confined space
if it had been a pewter container
I would have hidden from your prying eyes
but now I am in an intractable alley
elusive in my indignity;
flocks of thoughts chase me,
beating on the walls of my mind
"I am forced to accommodated my naked being,
don't you dare comment on it."
........
Writing after three weeks. I am just happy to be able to do so. For now.
17 comments:
Your opening line draws me in, and I love how it fits the picture. May your words continue to rise.
A wonderful take. It truly flows.
love the line 'flocks of thoughts chase me'....sweet..xx
Excellent - you seem to have drawn on one of those Freudian dreams we are all supposed go have at sometime in our lives. The fear of being naked and not able to hide our nakedness.
"bottled sea"...YES.
This flows beautifully. So visual.
De Jackson (WhimsyGizmo)
http://whimsygizmo.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/the-anecdote-of-the-jar/
love the last two lines
The stress and pressure you bottled up in the 'confined space' of this short poem explode outward. Thank you for sharing, Gautami. I enjoyed the read.
The closing to this is lovely, Gautami.
Pamela
Moss and pewter...two of my favorite things...
Wonderful and I too like the last two lines especially!
Really like this. Well-drawn and love the dialogue lines at the end. Very nice, thanks
loved your poem.
Truly beautiful! :-)
Reads as if your muse is back from vacation. Image and wordle seem to have been made for one another
elusive in my indignity
Nice idea...
Great poem , Gautami
Nice interpretation of the image. Causes one to think. Commenting from Poetry Pantry.
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