befuddled she lay there
pain was only a breath away
it was a race to live
his silky voice kept holding her
if not for him
she would have fallen into that marsh
her mouth all cottony
she felt him pour the whiskey on her broken leg
some part of her mind was razor sharp
his lanky form hovered near her
willing her to live
wiling her to live
before he slipped into murky water below
not to be found
ten years later she sits transfixed,
her glass dropping from her hand,
a small puddle forming on her side-
reminds her of her fuddled experience
she keeps staring at that letter remembering,
thinking, "no one can isolate me now.
he has found me again. saved my life yet again."
"et cetera is not life. it is what she is now."
36 comments:
oh my- it's amazing where this image took you! Nicely done!
What a complete and moving story this piece conveys..i agree the image really did seem to open up a life..and you captured it perfectly..can't help but stop and think what 'your' own future will feel like when linked with a bridge to the past..
You have spun an arresting tale which leaves me wanting to know more....great write!
Enigmatic and lovely...
lovely write; have a good Sunday
much love...
So sad and beautiful at once.
Great combination of the prompts! I love the envelope picture and how you were able to work the wordle words with to it.
How often do we recall the significant moments in our life to be like her to know how our lives have been saved by others and hopefully will do so again as we breathe our last.
A delightful piece that has me wanting to know more.
"pour the whiskey on her broken leg" what a great line, evocative.
Fantastic feeling and imagery; very nice.
so moving and engaging lines...lovely
So delightfully contained within, this lanky figure..,
Ah, the in between time...deftly written.
So important to realize how we connected with people we meet at our life path ~ nice evocative poem
I enjoyed your poem ... different and intriguing.
You used the words to take us on quite a journey.
A nice air of mystery here that leaves me wanting more...
=)
That uncanny episode of crossing paths again with someone can be most exciting. One can never tell. Great write gautami!
Hank
there are layers of stories within this ... well done
Memories can be life saving or life changing. Nicely written, G.Tami. Welcome back too, seems about ten years gone also.
..
there is a sense of loss and pain and enigma which makes the whole piece so arresting.
Such strong emotions....12
The mind can certainly evoke memories and all the emotions that go with them. Beautiful write!
What an intriguing story. I'd love to know what happened in the interim.
The first part leads us into an interesting little tale of intrigue. The second part has us wondering though, how exactly did he save her life "again?" It left me wanting more to learn this. Nice start on this tale of mystery!
This is so sad, but lovely.
Great story leaving so many questions so many beginnings and endings...bkm
I want a movie! Your poem is a beautiful tale of redemption and gratitude, and acceptance. Very fine!
Leaving me wanting to read the letter... really lovely. :)
Goodness. There's a whole gorgeous story here. So well done.
My oh my! What a wonderful seamless use of this wordle! I am enthralled with every line! Thank you so much for visiting my site and giving your comment, which in view of the excellence of your own submission makes your comment about my poem even more kind!
What a dramatic story. Well wordled.
I couldn't read the name on the envelope, and it was well before my time anyway, but I used to work in Henley-in-Arden and lived in the next village.
Your words paint an engaging story, Gautami.
Beautiful work, Gautami.
Pamela
Oh, I do like this. It reminds me of a pen pal I once had. We wrote for a bit then it faded and after ten or twenty years we tried to take up where we left off...but it didn't quite have the same 'magic'.
Thanks for your visit to my story whirl. ~Jules
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