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| Still Life, 1907 by John Frederick Peto |
jagged edges of rock bleed them further
I am so intimate with my hat
yet I have that umbrella too
merciless sun hits me hard
I trudge along all alone
on that lonely dry path
my feet dragging in that forceful way
I thirst for water, to sustain me
but I fall flat on that ground
which embraces me to its breast
all my stuff now hooked to a nail
while I am but dust in the Universe
my soul walking any place it wishes
no bleeding marks anywhere,
no dried out bones either
not even a photograph on that wall
"maybe a memory in someone's mind
not that I expect that as I am gone now"
22 comments:
I can feel the alone-ness, the being gone......."all my stuff now hooked on a nail while I am but dust in the universe." Powerful writing.
Very powerful indeed and in the end we all die alone and everything is left behind.
Good imagery. Nice write. :-)
For me this is the image of passing on.. the umbrella and the hat both left alone.. not needed in the universe.
I could feel the burning pain and longing in the lines.. a very intense and emotive poem!
Lots of love,
Sanaa
beautiful and a sadness here as we pass and are no longer constrained in our bodies...
'all my stuff now hooked to a nail'
we are light and soul now....powerful words here....
An evocative write. Striking images will live on in the mind of the reader.
I guess we are all mere dust in the Universe, really.
A nice job of adding emotion to the still-life.
excellent writing- I felt the same way ....
In death we become a memory. Lovely write. I like the drama in this.
We value our stuff and it hurts to think of it going in the skip. Mind you it is not so bad for us writers for who knows what our writing will say about us in the future.
A troubled and heavyhearted response to the prompt.
One can make an impact. Perhaps others are more forgiving than one allows for one's ownself! Great thoughts Gautami!
Hank
while I am but dust in the Universe
my soul walking any place it wishes
..."maybe a memory in someone's mind
not that I expect that as I am gone now"
Loved these lines. they just strike directly at the heart
I will hope that you will visit all of the people from Poets United who visited you. Reciprocity is not too much to ask of a fellow poet, is it?
This does feel like a jagged and lonely path...and yet perhaps there is hope ahead
We get all tired from time to time...it's really poet-like gesture to imagine what happens after we gone...after all no bargain required to enter other side, but the wisdom of soul will be saved for future...
~ you really engaged with the poem~
sadness is wonderfully expressed through beautiful imagery...
A lonely poem, very well written.
profound....beautiful images!
The trudging. The heavy ness. Would you believe are also in my poem. Wow
Much love...
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