Boat that light

Meal Beach, Burra Isles, Shetland by Robin Gosnall 

a window in that water
is it a dream written in part?
a can of paint sprayed away the blues
my body is an outsider in that cold beach
I play a part 
such an intimate feeling
fearsome instincts are here to stay
what use is sprees of adventure?

"no one reserves the right to mock-
to cross that line, 
bury yourself in sand first"

clinging to me

photo by TheFoxAndTheRaven 

I wish I was writing on sand
my blue dress clings to my body
I want wings to fly away
but the dust holds me to blessed coolness
you unbalanced my moorings 
that instant was lost in a moment
I was taken for a ride
but no more gasps
the wind may yet slap against me
snare of my cascading hair will beckon 
I will again look out for unlimited eternity

"who deserves what, can anyone predict?"

blurred into nothingness

Venus de Milo with Drawers, 1936, Salvador Dali

a sublime moment of truth

tears into the limits

pieces of patience

tests the heroic prophets

loneliness is stealing into the heart

dry eyes find themselves gazing into space

myriads of everything are hidden in the drawers

yet the monarch stands tall

"broken discipline takes away the winds

monday will bring it into order

only to make it slowly disintegrate until further orders"

fill it all in a bottle

"I will court you"
he never ever said that
but I had heard
he gifted me a coral beaded on a thread
I would have preferred a plume
such a rare thing to give
why can't he pour his feelings from a bottle?
a dry bathe
Isn't that a paradox?
why am I thinking randomly
what incident has made me so
I want all in my own terms
my heart open to him
I make a ball of my fist
and come back to silence

power of denial cannot be ignored
not when it takes us over completely

facts and figures

such a rock
a burden really one has to carry
no one to fuss.
miserable holds no meaning
sweet charisma prove nothing
a straight road twisted with enough interest
a wish
all within the mind
don't make a bust of me
I don't want it
never did.
prove what to you again-
in the jumbled figures, 
I cannot find

If you could not give it to me then
I don't want it now
hope someday you go figure the whats and whys

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I am trying to cull many things out of my life. Only by culling, we can embrace new experiences. I am trying. God knows, I am trying...

vinyl dreams

Charlotte Gainsbourg, AnOther

lost in the vinyls
she looks out into her past
trapped in the circle of life
she does not not subscribe to sadness
everything can be said but it is never ever done
edges are always raw
one has to scale that
in the mist of the songs in her mind
chimes are curved, scattered and tattered
a mirror reflects the vast step she has taken
no one skirted the issues like she did
holding on to the last straw was never her agenda

vinyl is plastic, undead to environment
jumbled songs play out cheerily loud
bravo for it, bravo for it

contemplation

the steep steps of poetry breaks into my stupor
like a drunk, I gravitate my naked feelings 
towards that ditch of feelings
my mind's breaks have failed
I am unable to hold on that diminishing virtue
such a burden to all
can you lead me to that palace 
where I can wish to be myself
in the stretchy bends of life
there is no room for turmoil
if I could only believe that
I don't want to relive the past

hidden from the world, I escape you
just let me be with my poetry
I will not put brakes even if it cuts into me


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Writing this after 11 weeks. My muse had died suddenly but seems to have come back. I am not sure if it going to last or not. I do not even know what I wrote above makes sense or not. Does it, do let me know!!

threadbare

Red Chair

far away trees sway on the mountain top 
scent of nature fill into him
held by that red chair, he escapes
falls in a heap outside that window
flecks of dust are a sight to behold
in the filtered sunlight
he leaves behind all that load
what you physically see here is just a manifestation
where skimmed shadows tempt fate

no end comes out of the flood of his thoughts

phantom walls

phantom birds-
not much to recommend
hollow walls never tell tales
although brook in the woods does
I never notice leaping birds in rocky path
dry land does not interest them
when we get to listen to phantom screams
the walls will fall apart
no marriage can survive closed walls

"new walls will be built out of silence
why do I wish for that, I wonder"

diffused

Verdun, 1917 by Felix Vallotton

lights jumped all around her

the pain was excruciating

narrow beams struggled to grow wider

she wished to taste the sky

but was nailed to the earth

she felt as if sleeping on mud

all squishy and mishy mashy

diffused into the lights
her mind was fused to her heart
body refused to follow either
blackest of black clouds blanket her

"she will escape before that arrow of light pierces into her"



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I have Central serous retinopathy in my left eye....which is fluid leakage under the retina....that means I have blurred vision for now....

It will clear up with time....I have been told to reduce my stress. I had taken leave from work and right now I just trying to relax doing nothing. Not much of reading, watching TV or even use my laptop.....It has been more than a month now....