complexity of hidden emotions

I order Chinese takeaway, spicy and pungent-
my taste buds start to work overtime before it arrives
but I invite few of my friends to share

as I can't bear to be alone with myself
I need the company, the food and a glass of wine
my favourite music playing in the background

I meticulously set the table, as I hate eating with
plastic spoons and forks, direct from the containers
which reminds me of olden days of togetherness

"the spicy foods hides my broken heart with the tears flowing in rivulets"

@gautami.tripathy April 13, 2017

complexity of following the norms

words are dead, but thoughts are not
although haphazardly placed
and chaotic in such a random way

I feel pulled from all directions
in no state to follow all the norms
or the mundane routine of life

what is normal about longing
for someone who has suffered as
much as you, yet bear it stoically

"the constants will keep changing, I will accept that gracefully"

@gautami.tripathy April 12, 2017

complexity of panicking

I seek you within my files and folders
between the varied subject matters
from bills to random musings

in the figures and looped numbers
I only see exclusively you
your pain reaches out to me in tentacles

yet you don't understand my concern
the panic mode which I suddenly develop
which churns me to my core

"I have been there before, it isn't the end of the world"

@gautami.tripathy April 11, 2017

complexity of reaching the destination

I have come a long way
much to long, I would say
yet I arrived finally

to the destination, I wanted to be
it is not a trodden path
yet, I am not scared of the unknown

on the contrary, it thrills me
to discover stuff at my pace
secrets to be unravelled, surprises galore

"whenever we turn towards a corner. we don't know what will hit us"

@gautami.tripathy April 10, 2017

complexity of sanity

his heart, a mere shell now,
it bleeds slowly to oblivion-
he sheds a single tear

he knows he can handle it
and he will cheer himself up,
and grin for the world

he knows being slack is not an option
and he has to draw a line somewhere-
hence he trims his feelings and smiles

"he can give vent, and undo everything, 
but he is held by that invisible strap of decorous behaviour"

@gautami.tripathy@April 09, 2017

Complexity

complexity of feelings

why so much anger at trivial reasons
why hit out at her, she who cares
when you bang the phone on her
she sheds dry tears
which can't even be wiped

she watches her dreams
shattering to thousands of pieces
each day, every day, to nothingness
is it even worth it to go forward
or should she let it go?

"no easy answers for such a question, sometimes even love can't hold together"

@gautami.tripathy April 08, 2017

~~~~~~~~

complexity of being a man

that bottled water never tasted better
parched throat relished it
although the water was slightly warm

dust and grime coated him fully
his oil stained overall was no longer white
but he touched his car lovingly

his dogs seating on the cobbled path
watched him with half open eyes
is that a smirk, I see on their faces?

"a man has his dogs and his car, yet he needs soft touch of woman"

@gautami.tripathy April 07, 2017

~~~~~~~~~~~~

complexity of words

the musty air surrounds the words
those words which don't come out
and hide within the recesses of the mind

a full blown novel can be written
on the paper, but the words refuse to pour forth
yet swirl all over the place in a jumble

silence holds the fort with fortitude
albeit an enforced one, with no inkling of
how to end the farce

"why then we waste words when silence is what is needed?"

@gautami.tripathy April 06, 2017

~~~~~~~~

complexity of space

the space is riddled with holes
and the cement simply slithers down
maybe the space needs the air

musty, warm and full of secrets
in that half asleep, half awake state
it speculates the uncertainty

the only constant in our life
the needy air for the space
and the needy space for the air

"why do we even think of space, when all we desire is the intertwining?"

@gautami.tripathy April 05, 2017

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

complexity of loving

the trapped air inside the castle
seeks ways to move out
but the windows are nailed and doors are padlocked

the air settles down accepting its fate
of loneliness and staleness, the anger
having dissipated long ago

the mountains far away are invisible
through the dust laden windows
yet are so beckoning to the musty air

when after aeons, thunder strikes the castle
breaking glasses, the air escapes,
embracing the rains as an elemental lover

"the earth taught us passion by its naked display of it, towards the sun"

@gautami.tripathy April 04, 2017

Fare Thee Well

​we start with each of the batch 

bickering about your unkempt hair​

and your unruly behaviour

​we keep saying, study, study study

no games, no television

only practicing, only books​

​half of the year goes like this

somewhere down the line

you really get what we say​

you blossom, we watch

you acquire knowledge which 

we can only direct you too

​all of a sudden, it changes

we are filled with love for each of you

which can't be contained anymore​

your smiles, the mischievous eyes
and that inquisitiveness

​we

​ ​

will

​ ​

miss them too much

when one of you

​ comes close

and hugs without restraints

​we

 light up like a lamp

with each batch, 

​our 

hearts breaks
yet

​ we

 can't get away from that elation-
you are now ready to face the world

​we

 know 

​we

 will continue to say,
"go, live it up, go, spread your wings"
with that mixed feeling of love and loss

@gautami.tripathy

​

collapsing into you

on your skin, my fingers write a song

with my face half hidden in the crook of your neck.

the melody is soundless

with unusual rhythms

in the slumber, you move all of a sudden

sit upright, and challenge my light touches

you root for me, and I implode,

the resound of it resonates with the wall

within your arms, I am a limp rag

now your fingers write a song on my heated skin

slippery, sweaty, sensitized to you

yet again, I fall apart and you watch me with a half smile

I sit on the stool to comb my hair

the mirror reflects the aftermath of love

it is not enough, never enough with us

the want is ever present, the need rules

@gautami.tripathy 12 Feb 2017

Theme of the month: Witness

beatific smile, such innocence-
I touch him endearingly careful,
so as not to disturb him

 his head is tilted to the side
body so twisted
I go blind for a moment 

that white bedspread is my witness
as it slowly soaks crimson blood

 @gautami.tripathy April 12, 2016 

 you peep from behind the curtains
I ignore you
even when you laugh aloud

 I have emptied my mind of you
don't you dare ask why
not if you don't wish to be killed 

believe me, the clock as my witness
I will shoot you on the head

 @gautami.tripathy April 12, 2016

the weather is hot
thoughts have dried out
and the stories are gone

words dance haphazardly
to escape beyond the roof
so as to fly with the birds

with heart as my witness
I will again hold the words in my mind

@gautami.tripathy April 11, 2016

those polka dots on your shirt
drive me crazy
and then the buttons come undone

scattered all over the floor
I pick a couple
the tiny holes laugh at me

with the ceiling fan as my witness-
I walk out with the torn shirt

@gautami.tripathy April 10, 2016

no, you are not here-
despite the promises you made,
writing on the sand.

the words now are hiding in the crevices
of the waves of the ocean
in a haphazard way

the seashells are the witness
while the waves rattle needlessly heedless

@gautami.tripathy April 7, 2016

I offer you a scoop of icecream
you grab the whole tub
our spoons fight with each other

I offer you a look
you wrap your arms around me
our essences intermingle

the stars are our witnesses
while moonless night hides us

@gautami.tripathy April 6, 2016

you flaunt her on my face
I don't give a damn
the rot had set long before

you show her off to your friends
I cook pasta for all
the spices drives everyone crazy

chilli flakes are my witnesses
both of you won't recover any time soon

@gautami.tripathy April 5, 2016

all you ever do is work
no time for anything else
maybe except for walking your dogs

all you ever do is to check your gadgets
obsessed to the point of insanity
maybe except for eating

that television is your witness
until you switch it off for the night

@gautami.tripathy April 4, 2016

I eat a chocolate
smear it on your mirror
and make your face hideous 

I eat a doughnut
look at the hole
and think who vacuumed your brain

"that bowl is my witness
until it falls on the ground and smashes"

@gautami.tripathy April 4, 2016

I search for the scissor
look into your wardrobe
and cut all your ties

I search for the pliers
enter your office
and cut all the wires

"that photo frame is my witness
I smash it to the ground"

@gautami.tripathy April 3, 2016

a shoe abandoned
I pick it up
aim it to your head

second shoe abandoned
I pick it up
treasure it as a trophy

"that lone bird is my witness
when I smile with glee"

@gautami.tripathy April 3, 2016

you built a wall
I climbed over it
and messed with your mind

you built that wall again
I broke it down
and messed with your heart

the cobbled stones are my witnesses
a mere wall is no deterrent for me.....

@gautami.tripathy April 3, 2016

eyes keep staring from all angles

pick a fight
or some food
the choice is all yours
do not walk that path that leads to weapons
or you will be buried deep in the quagmire

you have to transform that negative energy
into something fruitful
take a deep breathe
(you can practice that)
and run out of that pit

"I have the view for you, go find the vision"


### Wrote this after two long months of drought. Hopefully, my muse is back!!