Tuesday, October 16, 2007

waxed eloquence----Writers Island

This time the prompt is to write about Message In a Bottle.

blue tinted veined tapered bottle
floating aimlessly up and down
finds direction when waves crash

i watch it with anticipation willing
it to reach towards me. swirling
it plays hide and seek like a child.

tired it comes and rests on sand-
turning over, sated with journey
origination of which is unknown.

i let it be, but only for a short while;
bending down on my knees, picking
it up with care, i examine squinting

to look into its interior, visibility of
which is almost zero. waxed cork
comes off easily enough. rolling

to ground, parchment falls at my feet.
eagerly i pick it up, opening it with
care, my eyes scan it taking in little

details. perplexed for a split second
comprehension dawns. blankness of
that missive brings forth with force-

messages with no words stay forever
hanging in air confined to a minute
space spread universally, soundlessly.

no words can replace profoundness
of calm least of all message in a bottle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click for more messages in a bottle...

36 comments:

UL said...

"Messages with no words stay forever", how true. That was lovely. I have been catching up on some of your older posts, your writing is superb...I will be back to read some more. Thanks for sharing.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

This is wonderful! I really like the ending.

Rambler said...

no words can replace profoundness
how true...

Marja said...

no words can replace profoundness of calm. I absolutely love that.
Very good

Robin said...

A blank message, how wonderful. I love this Gautami.

Jo said...

Seems our minds were working on similar lines.....cool!

floots said...

really like this idea
thank you

Steve said...

beautiful simply beautiful

Pauline said...

you always get to the heart of the matter with such force...this is a wondeful piece.

paris parfait said...

Absolutely gorgeous poem, Guatami - message with no words stay forever - yes! Well done, you!

KaiBlueCreations said...

I love the way you play with the words and paint pictures with them..
beautiful prose.

peace, kai

magiceye said...

indeed beautiful!

Jessica said...

I too am reading through your older posts, your words are mesmerising and really drawm me in. I love this post- wonderful.
Thanks Gautami...

lissa said...

you definitely have a great way with words, making ordinary things sound so exciting.

wonderful poem.

Pat Paulk said...

Absolutely wonderful!!! A perfect ending to this little tale.

tinker said...

How creative ~ What an intriguing idea, that the page would be blank - "Messages with no words stay forever" makes me think also, that
'messages with no words can say whatever' - whatever you want them to say...:)

Mary Timme said...

Today I can leave a message as most of the time I haven't been able to although I read faithfully! That makes me happy No message or the unwritten message, and the conclusion were wonderful. I was surprised and pleased

keith hillman said...

a wonderful idea. Like those before me I found your poem truly 'profound'

mks said...

"messages with no words stay forever" - my favorite line.

How absolutely true. A gesture, a look, a thought of what might have been, all last longer than whatever might be put on paper.

I loved it.

HungryGhost said...

Beautiful - the power of silence can make or break a person.

Just Jen said...

I love how all the excitement was in finding the bottle. The message was irrelevant (well, it wasn't even there...lol) It's the excitement of the find!
Makes me wonder what words eluded the sender? Very profound.

Rebicmel said...

I love free verse and I like how you built this around this weeks prompt. Such a great piece to read.

Remiman said...

gautami,
Blank paper...profound message!
Profound poem, very well done.
rel

jadey said...

Very nicely done. Thanks for checking mine out as well I appreciate it.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Sweet tami, my friend, each week I never know what you will weave for us . Just beautiful.. I am in awe.... a blank page speaks volumes to us all....


love-Melanie-bd

Cuckoo said...

Beautiful lines... specially the end.

"Messages with no words stay forever" very thought provoking.

polona said...

i love how you build suspense until the surprising revelation.
well done!
(i try to say much in a few words because i can't wax eloquent) :)

pepektheassassin said...

Great idea! I, too, liked the "messages with no words...." Fine ending!

Dan said...

Great work!! As did most everyone, I found "Messages with no words stay forever" most thought provoking.

Gilson said...

The ending is deep. I feel like having messages that can't be put into words sometimes. A nice week for you!

tumblewords said...

Well done, well done! I'm going back for more!

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Enjoyed the free verse style of this poem ... taking us on the journey of finding a bottle traveling the ocean waters! Peace, JP/deb

Christine said...

Your popem creates an island of infinite wisdom- a message that needs no words encompasses all messages. I think this poem is in keeping with the philosophy of other poems of yours that I've read.

The rhythm flows like the waves on the shore, and the narrator moves with the same rhythm, not hurrying toward his find- the bottle.

Herb Urban said...

Amazing poem. The ending was a wonderfully unexpected twist.

Ashley Lyn said...

Lovely! I love where you went with this. Everything is encompassed in silence or wordless-ness, so everything that needs to be said is brought forth by the blank page. Your poems are always a joy to read! Thank you Gautami.

sister AE said...

The words at the start bring clear images, and then when I've finished reading, I find this haunting.