Sunday, July 20, 2008

out of nowhere


Photo credits: Rick Mobbs
















looking overhead at the sky

you jauntily trudge along the lane
joy spilling over unable to be contained
you just live in the moment
basking in the shade of sun-kissed trees

in that madness of happiness
you start thinking you have now taken
control of your life, to live it the way
you always wished it and wanted it
although never verbalized it

out of nowhere spectre of your past
catches up with you
dashing your desires into ground
and you are left with nothing
not even hope, to hold on to

"simply rest your head on the cold earth
and let it take you wherever it wants to"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am back with this. My words are not dead. Problem is too much of those. Sometimes we cannot verbalize what is really happening. When we do we reveal so much of ourselves. I don't wish for that. I thank my friends for standing by me, encouraging me. I needed your love. I truly did. Does it matter that I never met you? Is it any wonder that I love my blogger friends?!

I will write. I can't stay away from it for long. It is like breathing.


53 comments:

Whitesnake said...

AND YOU had better not stay away too long again........
I should kick ya butt but it's too cute.......

Now where was I ....OH yeah
Beautifully put Gautami..... once again you excel!

SandyCarlson said...

Beautifully done. I have known these tantalizing spectres. Thanks for these words that capture the experience perfectly.

Noah the Great said...

This is excellent!

spacedlaw said...

Why should you rest when your writing is such a pleasure?

Don Iannone said...

Gautami: This is really good stuff. I sense your struggle though I've been scarce these past couple weeks or so. Once in a while it is good to take leave of oneself -- Just be w/out doing and let God refill you. Blessings.

Rambler said...

I think I know what you are talking about..when past sometimes really arrests our mind

Jenn: said...

The last two lines are great advice!

Engaging verse.

storyteller said...

Your words resonate with my own experience ... and I, for one, am happy you've shared today. Thank you ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

This is so packed. From the uneasy association of jaunty and trudged to the way I see myself in here yet also know that you're writing about yourself...

Another winner, G. Glad you're not giving up on us. (and no, it doesn't matter that we haven't met in real life! It's better this way. Believe me.)

sage said...

Glad to see you still around, penning beautiful words and images.

Robin said...

Welcome back my friend.

A beautiful piece. It reminds me of the story of the man who tried to outrun Death only to find it waiting for him on the road out of town.

Quiet Paths said...

I like how this piece takes one to heights and also shows the lows yet is still grounded in the good earth.

Raven said...

I know this journey so well - the highs and lows. Someone once offered an analogy to me which has helped me over the years. She said that the ups and downs are the natural rhythm of life, like the beating of the heart, which keeps the blood moving by both opening AND contracting and that it is in fact those contractions which push the blood forward and keep life going. (She explained it better). Beautiful poem.

Geraldine said...

It is like breathing isn't it? This is beautifully written. I love the upbeat feel to this work. Well done.

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Deborah Godin said...

Very moving, especially the last two lines--the allowing of the earth to heal.

Tammy said...

Tami, my friend, those last few lines were awesome. Welcome back to breathing. :) HUGS

Jennifer Hicks said...

nice to hear your voice. allow yourself to ride those waves without judgement. you have a strong gift with words and they will always be with you...lifelong and innumerable friends they are!

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

Thank you, Gautami. I enjoyed reading this.

-Nicole

danni said...

life is a real bitch sometimes, gautami, but little we can do about it - it's a cruel thing to have all those old tapes start playing over and over again, but we all have to deal with it, i expect --- this piece really spoke to me because i am sometimes so haunted that i feel sure i'll break into millions of brittle pieces --- wonderful piece, replete with feeling!!!

Roswila said...

Those closing two lines are very powerful. And, yes, we writers can no more not write, than not breathe.

Joyce said...

I wish you success and encouragement in the difficult times, so that once again you will be able to appreciate lovely moments as they come.

indicaspecies said...

Ah! When hope is lost, all is lost. Sweetly tragic!

Edward S Gault said...

This poem is a real pendulum of emotion!Just Rest,don't listen to spectres-they lie, and they use "facts" to do it.
Excellent Poem.
Thank you for sharing>

Granny Smith said...

I would hate to miss your wonderful posts. So, selfishly speaking, I say, "Keep the words flowing".

arboleda said...

very nice...!

keithsramblings said...

This really s a lovely piece. You mke sure you keep writing - we need you!

anthonynorth said...

Nice to have you back.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Yeah, this is joy spilling over!

maekitso said...

Great to see you made it back out the other side feeling optimistic. I enjoy my visits here. Thank you.

Nathan said...

I am touched by this relation between the "madness of happiness" and "dashed desires." I know what this is like. Great poem

Julia Smith said...

'basking in the shade of sun-kissed trees

in that madness of happiness
you start thinking you have now taken
control of your life, to live it the way
you always wished it and wanted it
although never verbalized it'

Though the tone of the poem changes, I love these lines and how you've described a feeling I sometimes get. I just read a blog post, right before I stopped here, on the difficulty of living an authentic life. If it was easy to do, it wouldn't be such an integral part of living.

Teri C said...

So beautiful! makes me happy that you are back here with your beautiful words!

christine said...

Awesome poem, gautami. The subtle rhymes and words of happiness, plus the wonderful painting, make a great combination.

We all need a break. I have been gone for awhile too, traveled to Montreal.

tumblewords said...

A tip of the hat to you! You've done it again! Wonderful...

texasblu said...

I take a brief hiatus every now and then. It's good for the soul. ;)

I've lived this poem over and over again. It's well stated - you have a way with words.

gardenpath said...

I enjoy the way your works flow. I always read your poems out loud. Glad you are back from your rest.

Joy Renee said...

this is haunting indeed. oh how i know this road where uncontainable joy suffuses one moment and the next one empties of hope as a thought, a memory, challenges your spirit to a duel.

throwshiswords said...

Very nice! My favorite image: the "madness of happiness". :-)

barbs.haiku said...

My desires have been a bit dashed this week so your poem hits a nerve with me, although my hope is not lost, just beaten up a bit. Wonderful piece, Guatami!

~Sorry about the above deletion, I was logged in for my other blog. I've created a blog just for my haiku.

b said...

The curtain we draw around ourselves protect us from what others need not know and should not comment on. Poetry is perfect...especially when written by you.

b

Suma said...

as usual, a perfect poem...

coming here after a very long time...hope you've manged to scare those ghosts away..take care...

artpredator said...

glad you caught your breath!

cool response to a wonderful picture!

Donnster said...

You couldn't stop writing any more than a Warbler can stop singing.

In the timeless words of Michael Jackson;
"Keep On
With The Force Don't Stop
Don't Stop
'Til You Get Enough"

Hee Heeeeeeeeeeeee Heeee Heeeeeee

Beaman said...

I'm glad you're staying Gautami. You were one of the very first literary blogs I came across and so will always hold a special memory.

Linda Jacobs said...

I don't know why but in the summer I don't write as much. Sometimes we just need a break.

Awesome poem, as usual!

Pecos Blue said...

That is very nice. I like it. I have been off and on too. Life gets wild every once in a while.

Steve said...

You have always been loved ya just dont how ta accept it, understand it or what to do about it......

Sadly ya probally never will...
Cos ya don't know how....

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I am really glad to see that you are back. Maybe you just needed a rest.

Just someone said...

Glad to see you back in action! you are too good with words!

Stan Ski said...

Another shining example - well worth the short wait.

jadey said...

Awesome poem and so great to see you back in the saddle again. Never quit it will always come back to you. You will find the words and you will find the way to express them just take your time and let it flow. No it does not matter if you met us or not, what matters is we all have become friends and that is so important.

bevies-place said...

I hate those spectres that jump up at you. Just when you think you have dealt with something, they come along and dance before you, ripping your heart and mind to shreds.

-Bev

zoya gautam said...

"simply rest your head on the cold earth"-the right philosophy..many thanks..