nucleus stared me in the eyesalmost imploding on my face
I sat up with a start
turned left, instinctively
piece of charcoal split into splinters
burning ones did cartwheels
bellowing curtains caught fire
when lights came back
I had been sketched into the walls
permanently etched there
my nudity staring at you obscenely
"don't you think death becomes me?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I needed to get back to this kind of dark poetry. This what I feel comfortable to write. I think I will give love poetry a rest for sometime to come. And posting without editing works best for me.
25 comments:
Ooh, the last line is perfect!
brilliant as usual.....
maybe I should get out that thesaurus.
write what ya comfortable with, it is always hard to drift else where, one always comes back to where one is safe.
oh, that's seductive. I really like those last few lines and the final one is a great bang.
love this!
That's a powerful poem
Absolutely wonderful! I loved this one!
Always such stark images, and your last lines are excellent. Never fail.
Very dark! I really like the visual I'm getting from "burning ones did cartwheels."
Ooh, this is a great poem. That last line is an excellent fit to the rest of your story. I'm glad to see you are writing what you are comfortable with again. Whitesnake was right, we always come back to what we know. Nice job. Have a nice day.
Great images. I really like the link between the captured image and death.
Drawing with dim light...wiith the model not really wanting it!Greatly done, Gautami!
wow! it's perfect for Monday Mural, you've captured just the right words
Love this: "I had been sketched into the walls."
This makes me think of the scene toward the end of 'The Fountain' - won't go further if you haven't seen it. But now I have the music from the soundtrack going through my head, from that scene. Very evocative!
Powerful poem. A narrator writing from a place so burned she's an etching on a wall. Great metaphor.
very visual poem
wow, a powerful piece of writing.
Darkness is good and the way you write is even better.
it is a dark shining beauty...
Once again you've produced a wonderful piece
write that which ignites your passion. wonderful work. peace, jp/deb
Powerful imagery that throws out a confronting challenge!
I love this poem. Your words have turned what appears to be a classroom sketch into something spooky to look at. Really creative interpretation of the picture.
Short, complex, and a lot left to interpretation. It does leave you thinking...
I love your interpretation of the sketch. I think dark poetry becomes you.
-Nicole
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