Monday, July 07, 2008

piece of charcoal split into splinters

nucleus stared me in the eyes
almost imploding on my face
I sat up with a start
turned left, instinctively

piece of charcoal split into splinters
burning ones did cartwheels
bellowing curtains caught fire

when lights came back
I had been sketched into the walls
permanently etched there
my nudity staring at you obscenely

"don't you think death becomes me?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I needed to get back to this kind of dark poetry. This what I feel comfortable to write. I think I will give love poetry a rest for sometime to come. And posting without editing works best for me.

25 comments:

Noah the Great said...

Ooh, the last line is perfect!

Whitesnake said...

brilliant as usual.....
maybe I should get out that thesaurus.

write what ya comfortable with, it is always hard to drift else where, one always comes back to where one is safe.

Angelica Chua said...

oh, that's seductive. I really like those last few lines and the final one is a great bang.

magiceye said...

love this!

Catherine said...

That's a powerful poem

Jane Doe said...

Absolutely wonderful! I loved this one!

anthonynorth said...

Always such stark images, and your last lines are excellent. Never fail.

Anonymous said...

Very dark! I really like the visual I'm getting from "burning ones did cartwheels."

poefusion said...

Ooh, this is a great poem. That last line is an excellent fit to the rest of your story. I'm glad to see you are writing what you are comfortable with again. Whitesnake was right, we always come back to what we know. Nice job. Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Great images. I really like the link between the captured image and death.

Jill said...

Drawing with dim light...wiith the model not really wanting it!Greatly done, Gautami!

Anonymous said...

wow! it's perfect for Monday Mural, you've captured just the right words

mareymercy said...

Love this: "I had been sketched into the walls."

Julia Phillips Smith said...

This makes me think of the scene toward the end of 'The Fountain' - won't go further if you haven't seen it. But now I have the music from the soundtrack going through my head, from that scene. Very evocative!

Anonymous said...

Powerful poem. A narrator writing from a place so burned she's an etching on a wall. Great metaphor.

Crafty Green Poet said...

very visual poem

polona said...

wow, a powerful piece of writing.

Anonymous said...

Darkness is good and the way you write is even better.

Anonymous said...

it is a dark shining beauty...

Anonymous said...

Once again you've produced a wonderful piece

JP/deb said...

write that which ignites your passion. wonderful work. peace, jp/deb

Gemma Wiseman said...

Powerful imagery that throws out a confronting challenge!

Jenn: said...

I love this poem. Your words have turned what appears to be a classroom sketch into something spooky to look at. Really creative interpretation of the picture.

Anonymous said...

Short, complex, and a lot left to interpretation. It does leave you thinking...

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I love your interpretation of the sketch. I think dark poetry becomes you.

-Nicole