Monday, July 07, 2008

piece of charcoal split into splinters

nucleus stared me in the eyes
almost imploding on my face
I sat up with a start
turned left, instinctively

piece of charcoal split into splinters
burning ones did cartwheels
bellowing curtains caught fire

when lights came back
I had been sketched into the walls
permanently etched there
my nudity staring at you obscenely

"don't you think death becomes me?"


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I needed to get back to this kind of dark poetry. This what I feel comfortable to write. I think I will give love poetry a rest for sometime to come. And posting without editing works best for me.

25 comments:

Noah the Great said...

Ooh, the last line is perfect!

Whitesnake said...

brilliant as usual.....
maybe I should get out that thesaurus.

write what ya comfortable with, it is always hard to drift else where, one always comes back to where one is safe.

Angelica said...

oh, that's seductive. I really like those last few lines and the final one is a great bang.

magiceye said...

love this!

Catherine said...

That's a powerful poem

Jane Doe said...

Absolutely wonderful! I loved this one!

anthonynorth said...

Always such stark images, and your last lines are excellent. Never fail.

durablepigments said...

Very dark! I really like the visual I'm getting from "burning ones did cartwheels."

Michelle Johnson said...

Ooh, this is a great poem. That last line is an excellent fit to the rest of your story. I'm glad to see you are writing what you are comfortable with again. Whitesnake was right, we always come back to what we know. Nice job. Have a nice day.

Nathan said...

Great images. I really like the link between the captured image and death.

Jill said...

Drawing with dim light...wiith the model not really wanting it!Greatly done, Gautami!

lissa said...

wow! it's perfect for Monday Mural, you've captured just the right words

twitches said...

Love this: "I had been sketched into the walls."

Julia Smith said...

This makes me think of the scene toward the end of 'The Fountain' - won't go further if you haven't seen it. But now I have the music from the soundtrack going through my head, from that scene. Very evocative!

christine said...

Powerful poem. A narrator writing from a place so burned she's an etching on a wall. Great metaphor.

Crafty Green Poet said...

very visual poem

polona said...

wow, a powerful piece of writing.

Brian said...

Darkness is good and the way you write is even better.

one more believer said...

it is a dark shining beauty...

keithsramblings said...

Once again you've produced a wonderful piece

JP/deb said...

write that which ignites your passion. wonderful work. peace, jp/deb

Greyscale Territory said...

Powerful imagery that throws out a confronting challenge!

Jenn here: said...

I love this poem. Your words have turned what appears to be a classroom sketch into something spooky to look at. Really creative interpretation of the picture.

LAWRENCE said...

Short, complex, and a lot left to interpretation. It does leave you thinking...

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I love your interpretation of the sketch. I think dark poetry becomes you.

-Nicole