Sunday, August 31, 2008

hurtled against the edge of eon

Today I offer two verses for spectacle on OSI, in opposite voices. Do let me know what you think of either. The title works for both, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my heart and soul……………..

lost in the ocean of love for you
everlastingly plummeting deeper
hurtled against the edge of eon
suffused by your
incessant understanding-
fervently hoping
I don't make a spectacle of myself
when I finally give in to it

"yet I wait to unite with you
mindlessly………"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she fell on ground
unmindful he trod on her
spectacle, she or he?

26 comments:

zoya gautam said...

..thank u for the prompt,the nice love poem and the probing question (in the shorter poem)..

Edward S Gault said...

First, Thank you for this weeks prompt. I liked both verses very much-excellent work.

kouji said...

i especially like the 2nd haiku. i love the ambiguity and multiple meanings there. :)

Art and poetry said...

I like the first part best well done!

barbs.haiku said...

They are both so different! I enjoyed them both, but especially the second. Thanks for these.

sage said...

You are so creative--I love the title and at first was drawn to your first poem, then I reread the Haiku and found that the question at the end so fitting.

Whitesnake said...

You are always keeping people on their toes and questioning things even what you write.
Excellent work!

fourwindshaiga said...

I like this prompt, so much to do with it.

Both are good, but second is my fovorite.

andrée said...

That is a love like no other. It is overwhelming and powerful.

SandyCarlson said...

Such love is wonderful and rare.

Thanks for this prompt and both poems this week!

Geraldine said...

Great prompt and excellent work here Gautami. I like the first one best; very soulful and stirring.

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

anthonynorth said...

A pair of spectacular poems there.

Deborah Godin said...

There's so much explosive tension and passion in the first, and a sly subtlety in the second - great work!

Raven said...

You always write with such deep passion. I love that. Good prompt and two very different and well done poems.

Jim said...

Thank you for this wonderful prompt. I have been reading more than writing so far (I did finish my little tale), they are all so good.
I'll take your first poem, I like the mushy ones. I wish I could write them.
..

spacedlaw said...

I love your haiku, it is so evocative (and powerful). Excellent prompt also - very versatile - for which I thank you.

polona said...

both voices say volmes about many a relationship...

me ann my camera said...

'A spectacle, he or '... One often wonders, guess it depends on the crowd

Beloved Dreamer said...

My word Tami, you can write such beautiful love poems. I think you must be in love....
Both verses are wonderful and you have come so very far in your writing. I remember the P.T. days. when I felt your verse was so tight. Now you have blossomed into a true poet but then you do not need to be told that. Well done my friend.

love-Melanie

teric said...

It is SO romantic and beautiful!!! I love the meaning of those words.

tumblewords said...

Thanks for the prompt! You did your usual fine work with these pieces.

Patois said...

Your prompt was a wonderful suggestion. I do so like the second one.

DeLi said...

romantic...i feel/fell for it ..........

qualcosa di bello said...

thank you for a terrific prompt this week! your poems on opposite ends of the spectrum give one pause to consider...

jone said...

Thank you for the post. It was a fun one to write.

Annie said...

Passion and fire in the first. The second? I think both is the answer.