the sultry heat gets to me
trickling down my back
the moon stares starkly at the stars
with an unusual dour face
out of nowhere poetry comes to me
I catch the words haphazardly
making no sense yet there
out in the open for me
this particular night is conducive
for darkest of depression
I can write the saddest lines tonight
and still I desist from that
your image stands between me
and this windless hot night
tears and sweat fight to take over
I resist, giving in to none
"why do I need to write saddest lines tonight?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can write the saddest lines tonight has been taken From – Twenty Poems of Love by Pablo Neruda.
27 comments:
Sometimes we just need to get it out. And poetry can be the best way - a marvellous therapy.
Nice I like the bit about the poetry coming to you!
I agree with what anthonynorth said... poetry can be such a good way of exorcising those dark moods! I like the alliteration you have in the third line, stares starkly at the stars.
We do write the sadest lines sometimes, but I least we get in out of our system that way!
Catharsis. Sometimes we need to write those saddest lines.
Good job with this.
-Nicole
beautiful, poignant, haunting. i especially love the line you chose for the title.
Thanks for the link to Pablo Neruda's poem - I like how you referenced his work in your own. These lines are my favorites:
'the moon stares starkly at the stars
with an unusual dour face'
When you're down, the whole world transforms into a surreal place. I also love how the narrator catches poems.
i like it,
I like "moon stares starkly at the stars/with an unusual dour face"-good rythm, great image
i also like"I catch the words haphazardly" -I think it is a great line for the whole poem's mood...
i like the visceral feeling this gives. so good to read you have expanded to fiction.
I like the phrase capturing the words haphazardly, that's so often how it seems
lovely
powerful and poignant.
You paint a strong mood with your poetry ... love this piece. Peace, JP/deb
i love love love neruda... some of the most romantic poetry of all time...
i also like your spontaneous little couplet in the middle of the poem:
out of nowhere poetry comes to me
I catch the words haphazardly
:-)
The windless hot night is a strong metaphor for depression. Nice!
i can feel how hot and sticky it is!!
i like this one a lot, gautami!
(note/fel free to ignore: in the second stanza the last word of the third line consider using they're instead of there)
I like the way you begin with concrete images for this. A really good job.
as brilliant as ever!
I can relate to the sultry heat, to ideas that just appear - and conflict. Usually I write to suit a mood, but often it develops into something quite different.
beautiful work!
I see you've signed into Heads Or Tails.. but I can't find your post for it.
I too am looking for your HOT day entry, but really enjoyed your poem!
@skittles: In this poem you will find abstract and concrete images playing up along with the senses. That IS three things, don't you think?
Wow! Love this, it's beautiful! So true how things just come to you sometimes then other times you have to really work for it. Great writing!
I love the opening lines, and the line you used to write this entire poem.
And I can definitely answer the last line because I mainly write therapeutic poems. It's a way to find peace of mind from the every day stress. :)
Wonderful piece.
sorry..didnt like this one!
g, this is a beauty... i love neruda.. you have captured the spirit beautifully... "..i resist, giving in to none.."
Post a Comment