Wednesday, December 24, 2008

symmetry in poetry or what?

fl
..ut
......te
.........ri
...........ng

leaves
of
my
journal

wh
.....is
........per

softly
to each other

t
h
e

sec
......rets i poured

i
n
t
o

them.

st
...ai
......ns of my sweat

&

s
..m
.....u
.......d
.........g
...........e
.............s

of my tears
unquestionably underline
my faith in
.....................po
....................... wer

of words


when I touch a tiny hair of
eyelash in between the pages,
I marvel at the symmetry

"isn't
..........nature
....................... in
.............................itself
.......................................a

miracle of

....................cr
.......................ea
...........................ti
.............................on?"

32 comments:

Lezlie said...

That's beautiful! I love the way it looks like fluttering pages, too!

Lezlie

ThomG said...

What's more, it reads like fluttering pages. It grabs you, makes you work - but I think here, that's a good thng.

And yes, my goal for 2009 is to get at least two original works published in real, live journals.

Thanks for continuing to do great work, not only for 3WW but all that you blog.

Devika said...

The format looks nice, innovative...

Wish you a Merry Christmas, Gautami

devika

Jeeves said...

Brilliant. Absolute delight!!Merry Christmas

Pam said...

I really like the shape of this poem; the perfect mirror of the verbal image. I have read it three times and enjoyed it more each time.

Linda Jacobs said...

I love "stains of my sweat"! The whole thing is so effective! This id definitely one of your best!

sage said...

Lovely, another new style for you, Gautami

Sioux said...

Beautiful! Merry, merry Christmas!

Bill said...

year's end . . .
sorting through a batch
of new memories

Happy new year, dear Gautami.

Bone said...

Beautiful was the one word that came to my mind as I read this, too.

There is symmetry all around. Reminders.

Merry Christmas!

Pretty Me!! said...

lovely !! perfect visual poetry .. its my desire to try it myself some day soon !!

pjd said...

I like the contrast of the visual syncopation against the title of the poem. And the interruption the eyelash creates in the thought. Very nice and different.

Whitesnake said...

beautifully done........merry christmas......Gautami.....

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Cool, G.

sister AE said...

I especially like the way "whisper" is stretched out. It made me hear the pages against each other. Just right.

dsnake1 said...

having fun, hey? :)

Cool!
and yes, there's no better artist than mother nature. there's a masterpiece on every leaf, every seashell, any canvas in the sky...

"Philo" said...

Nice pattern poem, and evokes e.e.'s spirit to boot!

I love this kind of stuff.

Donn Coppens said...

Hello my fabulous friend from afar.
I have missed you too...still amazing and creative as always.

Thank You for your warm winter greeting. Hopefully you felt my wonderment and awe at how marvelous this creation is..regardless of how one imagines that it came into existance.

It is a miracle.

anthonynorth said...

Excellently done. And visually effective.

Angie said...

Thanks for the visit!

I love the way the format of your poem lets the reader "hear" the words...you can "hear" the pages of the journal whispering against each other.

Nice to meet you!
~Angie

one more believer said...

how beautiful a creative blend of enlightenment ..carrying one along as a soft wind whispering... reminds me of eecummings in a way, sorta...

b said...

This is a veritable feast for the eyes, ears and touch.

Thank you for your comment.

b

mgirl said...

Beautiful and very interesting format, which adds so much to the charm of the piece. Thanks for sharing with us.

angel said...

It was certainly interesting!

TD said...

I particularly enjoyed this one because of the picture you painted in format and in choice of words.

...deb said...

You must have had a wonderful time creating this construct of sense and place -- on the page! It's always a pleasure to visit and read here.

Happy new year!

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I love not only your words, but now this is constructed. Very visual. I could see you writing, your pages fluttering, your smudges and tears.

-Nicole

Crafty Green Poet said...

interesting visuals here

floreta said...

words so smooth like velvet! i can hear them out loud and they sound nice..

artpredator said...

very cool--yes the way it is formatted makes it seem very much like fluttering pages! congrats on the wonderful way you organized the thoughts, the words, the letters!

watermaid said...

A belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Your shape poem is well done and very touching.

gel said...

Beautiful poem.
Glad the some of my poem layouts have been an inspiration.