sprinkled into vast darkness stars peep out, dusting themselves
from the dirt of the universe
squeaky clean, they proudly preen
in front of the moon
wanting to please her
some even dare to press into her
few twinkling stars tinklingly taper,
playing around her in the night
when her rugged surface
scratches their smooth faces
the stars tumble into the black hole
hiding behind its darkest soul
only the impish sun remains
his wooing going full swing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just don't forget to board the poetry train. Every Monday or thereafter. Do check it out.
42 comments:
I never envisioned it like that before - I'll think of the heavens quite differently now that I know whatkind of shenanigans are really going on up there!!
Her rugged face has stopped untold numbers of objects from smashing into Earth.
One would have to be Lunatic to be unappreciative of her efforts.
Wow, sun wooing and being impish. Love this
GT: Love this impish love song.
Thank goodness for our impish sun! I like the flirtation going on here. I have known characters like that moon.
I love this poem, Gautami! It is one of your best ones.
Great one! I love astronomy and the last two line are perfect
Gautami--
Like others have said, we should have known that shenanigans were at play 'up there', because we do know on some level: 'as above, so below'...it's all projection!
You are a poet's poet, Gautami--
Thank you for your window on the world---shenanigans, etc. included!
Bringing the universe to life in a novel way.
this is very cute. i like the interraction with the sun.
I love the cosmic whimsy of this poem!
So lovely and fanciful. Delightful!
beautiful metaphor. unfortunately, the moon always seems to pander to whims of the twinkling stars, ignoring the steady radiance of the sun - a cosmic irony that we all, as inhabitants of venus and mars have to reconcile with.
Reminded me of the closing verse, I think, from Dante’s Divine Comedy: “the love which moves the sun and the other stars."!:)
i like the playfulness here, the flirtation
Impish sun; I have never even considered that character aspect. Now, I must think another way! Really, you never know what some heavenly bodies will get up to!
I like it!
I love the play ...the moon, stars and the sun ...so inviting
Absolutely love it! ;)
(and I think I will check out the Poetry Train!)
I agree with Deborah Godin! Not the austere coolness of space in this poem.
I like the bits of fun you added to this with the internal rhyme! A good example of form matching content! You are so good at this!
Love the personification you've given the heavens. So clever and fun!
I like the ending and how the moon and the sun are like lovers
I do so love your way with words. Lovely piece.
(I'm so sorry I haven't visited your blog lately - I've been feeling sort of insular.)
I like that it's like you are saying that the stars are caressing the moon...
Hi Gautami, this is a very playful poem. Even during tragedy involving the main characters the sun can still woo and play. I also like the way the stars are doing their preening.
..
you are so good at things like this! :)
This is very beautiful... I love that poetry is your passion.. it shows in your work.
Thanks for stopping by Brushstrokes.
Wanda
..many thanks for "the cosmic whimsy"
of the words & a very happy new year! ..
I love the playfulness of this poem. I will see the universe in a different way now. (thanks for stopping by and for the invite to Poetry Train).
Hi Gautami, I like 'squeaky clean, they proudly preen' and 'his wooing going full swing'
I'v just jumped on board but I haven't got a ticket yet!
wanted you to knmow my blog moved due to some unfortunate circumstances, but I have not stopped writing. For an invite I will need an email address. If you are not comfortable with this that's cool, but it's the only way to keep it private between people I trust online and keep out stalkers and such. Appreciate your support over the years and keep blogging.
clockworkchris@gmail.com
This was fun to read aloud, especially with the internal rhymes hiding in there...
I rather like the idea of the "impish sun" - What a flirt! :P
Thankyou for coming over to my pages. :)
Sue says "cosmic whimsy" and I love that description. I too like the impish sun and in particular the sound of the last line: wooing going full swing!
what an imagination !!! impressive :)
Something for you here :
http://creatingnewblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/awarded.html
wonderful usage of personification:
"peep out", "dusting themselves from the dirt of the universe"(also love that phrase) and the moon's "wooing going full swing"
Flirtatious heavenly "bodies"! Your imagination flies high.
Hmm I like it!
good as usual!
Have a Happy New Year!
What a fabulous way to look at it. Very playful. Quite enjoyable.
This is wondefully written! The dirt of the universe squeaky clean. Wow! I really like that.
P.S. Thanks for linking me to the poetry train site.
This one made me smile...
~O
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