Thursday, April 22, 2010

flinching fiercely



when squall hits the walls
rust dust gets washed away
cawing of the crow reverberates
fierce rains follow
I watch it all from my window
playing with a tendril of my hair
my eyes feel dizzy
my plans for emporium visit
too gets washed away

I sprinkle pepper on my toast,
flinch at its raw taste
that gets me back on earth
I know my saffron dreams
will materialise tomorrow or so-
emporium visit is but an excuse
to ignore the festering fissures
which refuse to heal

24 comments:

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Sometimes I need excuses to stay productive... emporium visits, watching something trashy on TV, coffee with a friend... and my productivity sores.

Love the combinations of words and tone here? Exceptional.

THANK YOU!

My Day 22 Poem is "Squall Blows"

Rallentanda said...

Impressive little poem Triptoes!
Good use of the words.

Lorraine said...

I like it I always do, although for the life of me, I don't understand, is it a challenge?

Jack said...

Gautami,

Got link to your space from comment at one of the spaces I visit regularly. Read all available poems. I feel glad to have visited you. Good poems with lots of emotions, though mostly sad. Have you thought of having collection of your poems published? How is your PC now? I know it is so frustrating when lots of ideas are churning in mind but you can not put them down for this lack of support.

Do visit me, if you find time and give your views.

Take care

Eryl Shields said...

Excellent use of the words, a very enjoyable poem.

Lani Jo said...

love the way you used all the words - and they worked together in a beautiful, subtle way - when I saw the list, I just wanted to throw my hands up and quit - wonderful job!

brooklyn said...

Great use of works indeed. You really put a great scene together, especially with that first stanza!

Jane Doe said...

You used all the words with skill, wove them together to create a beautiful poem. Great writing!

Bill said...

I like "saffron dreams."

Stan Ski said...

You got them all in... and it made sense - well done!

Greyscale Territory said...

Bristling emotion in this that seems to culminate with "festering fissures"! Dramatic poem!

anthonynorth said...

I love wordles. Amazing what you can get out of them.

SandyCarlson said...

Well done, to be sure. Just thinking of all those trips to the emporium I have taken that I might skirt the fissures in my life.

Linda Jacobs said...

Wow, I'm impressed. You used all the words; I managed only three. But, isn't it amazing what quirky combinations we can come up with? I like the image of you playing with a tendril of your hair. But, a sad ending...hope you are okay!

Sandra (if) said...

"fierce rain" what a great writer...beautiful poem!

Dee Martin said...

I made a short story with those prompts - such an interesting collection of words. I loved this, pictured you eating toast by the window watching an early morning storm :)

namingconstellations said...

I like the narrative here... it could be comical or really profound, or both. Clever and engaging way to combine a couple different prompts into one! :)

Tammy Brierly said...

I liked your poem and your use of fissures. That is tripping me up for OSI.

Thomma Lyn said...

What a lovely poem! I, too, enjoyed how you used "fissures."

Tumblewords: said...

I love your choice of words in this - the emotion surely resonates!

gabrielle said...

So much color and raw emotion. I love the line, "my eyes get dizzy"...

sg beatty said...

Old Griiz must apologize..read your post early Sunday and was sure I commented becasue I also like the saffron dreams and the dizzy eyes.
Guess I Old Grizz is getting old and confused..must have a dizzy mind

Amity said...

hmmm...some innocence, some love, some hurt feelings, some wishful thinking all portrayed here!

nice one Gautami!

Loch Rob said...

I have been to the emporiums in India. Most impressive and interesting place to spend a day. Your poem is real in the sense of imagery it protrays.