Sunday, August 08, 2010

musty scent of love

those old notes- yellowed,
in tatters, words smudging
I tape them carefully
to preserve them for you both

it is not quite dawn yet-
what am I doing in the wee hours
going through old letters
taking in the musty scent of your love

you know she sleeps in the next room
I don't wish to wake her up
like the way you were
ever so careful not to disturb her

what I see through my hazy vision
your words lovingly penned for her-
her words reciprocating,
my heart aches for her loss

I am no connoisseur on recipe of love
(but I know) she is still spellbound by you,
you can see that from up there,
but she cannot and that hurts her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I get glimpses of my mom missing my dad, it hurts me too. She is careful not to show it to me but as her daughter, I understand how much she misses him. I miss him too but it is different for her. As it should be. As it ought to be. I always have wished for a love as strong as theirs. I write it for both of them, even though I know she will not like it that I can read her so well.

30 comments:

Systematic Weasel said...

Children often read their parents very well, more so than they think. A very heartfelt piece! Great post!

-Weasel

alembic said...

The title of your poem captures the spirit of it so well. And thanks for having visited and commented on my site.

Wayne Pitchko said...

wow you said lots in this poem Gautami...read it a couple of times...lots going on...thanks for sharing all these words

Peggy said...

What a beautiful poem and a beautiful love. Your parents were indeed very lucky. Wonderful poem.

Amity said...

i could relate to your thoughts Gautami...that was my mother when my father passed away in a fatal car accident, i could feel how she misses him but what can we do?

Harshad mehta said...

Touched deeply.

gautami tripathy said...

@Amity, our being there, understanding their loss, and basking in that love, is what they really need. And of course our love..

Leo said...

yes, love is needed.. esp from us if they're to survive the loss..

a lovely take on the connoisseur topic Gautami..

vivienne blake said...

A very sensitive and well-written poem. It took me back to when my mother was dying, and she made me promise to burn, unread, a bag of letters I would find in the loft; letters from my father when he was away in the RAF during the war. To my credit, I kept my promise, though I myself burned to read them. My Dad wrote such wonderful letters to me.

anthonynorth said...

Beautiful and poignant.

sage said...

Wonderful poem, you must have had special parents... I see that with my parents too, both are still alive but my mother isn't with us in mind any more and my father works so hard to care for her.

Loch Rob said...

That sense of loss of a loved one is so powerful. I also feel it with my Dad, who is gone. Your poem comes from the power of love and this loss. Well penned.

Mary said...

This is a beautiful poem, and you have captured well the very deep love between your parents. And as Weasel said, I think children often read parents very well...I think parents would often be surprised!

Diane T said...

Your care for both of your parents comes through so strongly in this well written poem! So hard to see a parent's sadness.

Sandra (if) said...

I love the insights of your words Gautami
Sandra (La Cocoa in Facebook)

Linda said...

Beautifully written and so accessible. Your mother's grief is palpable and your understanding is touching.

Linda

Cynthia Short said...

So sweetly tender, this actually brought tears to my eyes.

flaubert said...

This brought tears to my eyes also
a beautiful heartfelt poem!
Pamela

Aayushi Mehta said...

Such is the pain of losses we bear in our lives. well expressed.

Ruth said...

how beautiful this is, and achingly sad - but I agree, we can only be there, love them...

Jim said...

This fits your assessment of Mom's situation well, Tami. It is well written.

It also would fit most others seeing one who has lost a lover through death, divorce, or 'run-away' circumstances.
..

Ramesh Sood said...

You touched the core Gautami.. for me it was other way round.. I lost my mom first.. Dad lived without her physical presence( I still find her around in spiritual dimension even after 30 years now.. ) I would see him often sad and lost in her memories..I always knew he hid his tears from us.. Thankyou Gautami you made me alive with their memories.. I am sure.. your Mom is also able to see your Dad perhaps in the silence of night, might be conversing too. God exists..yes..

Tumblewords: said...

A tender, poignant piece. Wonderfully presented.

shail said...

Very touchingly written.

Usha Pisharody said...

Thanks Shail for sharing this!

Lovely and touching! you bring to us a slice of our own nostalgia and longing.

Phoenixritu said...

This is truly deep and insightful. Awestruck by this poem

gabrielle said...

So many kinds of love depicted in this lovely piece--the special love your parents shared, your mother's sheltering love for you, and your tender daughter's heart.

Patti said...

Oh my! You totally touched me with this poem. As I was reading it, I was trying to figure out who you were referring to and about and when I read the explanantion it made sense. So very true- you captured the emotion and the loss so very well.

JP/deb said...

an intimate portrait of love ... beautiful.

Jeeves said...

Nice one