Wednesday, August 11, 2010

tumbled thoughts in a silver tumbler

I don't recall how but it started as joke-
I told my mom I wanted all my old things
my mom handed me that tumbler,
a small one of tarnished silver,
edges now rounded,
I don't remember each and every mark
but she does.
(I had made them by throwing it in fits of anger)
she said, "you always wanted the same tumbler
to drink milk, water or juice
somedays you even hid it from my brothers."
no way, I tell her,
I was ever ready to share with one brother-
I was always hanging around him,
even when his friends visited
he too indulged me,
he would have bought me the moon
and stars thrown in a good measure
if I wished for it
also the way I was ever ready to do
whatever he asked me too
(he never did)
I stored my share of goodies for him
(which he did take once in a while)-
the same one who is estranged from us now.

I put aside that tumbler
and I ask my mom in a desolate voice
does he ever think of me, of us?
will leverage of our love remedy the space?
I want my feelings to reach out to him
my tumbler of love and affection to overwhelm him
I fear what if it doesn't,
will I survive, will my mom survive?
I hug that small silver tumbler to my heart

30 comments:

Linda Jacobs said...

This is heartbreaking. I love how you use the tumbler to symbolize the love for your brother. I hope you can find a way to resolve the situation!

Ramesh Sood said...

Yes, it's heartbreaking Gautami..perhpas he is missing you people more..how can a Son remain away from his mother. Nature will play its part.. he will return..I am sure, my prayers..God bless.. beautiful poem Gautami..

Jaspreet said...

Heart-wrenching.I am getting emotional now, by reading this.Very well done!

Elizabeth said...

This one, although it is rich with imagery and beautifully said, strikes too close to home.

Elizabeth

carolsnotebook said...

So sad. Beautiful poem, though, very expressive and I love that it started and ended with the tumbler.

ThomG said...

Raw and emotional, thanks for sharing this.

(And as for taking a leap of faith soon, go do it.)

brenda w said...

Gautami, This is filled with longing. It is lovely in its sadness. May your brother read this whereve he is, and open his heart.
~Brenda

Diane T said...

Sad story about your estranged brother. Maybe you should give him a phone call sometime? Things can work out. A very poignant story.

Bone said...

the same one who is estranged from us now

This is heartbreaking. This and the last line, especially.

sage said...

i hope it's just a poem... if not, I hope you and your brother reconnect.

I like the way you wrap the poem around the tumbler and how the poem circles back to it and how a little object like that holds hope.

Gramma Ann said...

I too, hope it is just a poem and not real life. I don't know what I would do if my brothers and sisters were estranged from me, it would make me very sad in deed.

Thomma Lyn said...

Oh how sad -- such a beautiful poem, and speaks so eloquently to how painful it is to be estranged from a person we deeply love.

Mary said...

A strong and sad poem. Makes my heart break.

Paul Oakley said...

Very evocative! Leaving the particulars of the estrangement out allows this poem the flexibility to call forth all manner of conflicts that rend relationships. Moving!

naramalone.com said...

Beautiful use of symbol and detail to convey emotion. This level of love will draw him back to you eventually.

irene said...

You sure have tumbled your feelings into it.

Jay Thurston said...

Very emotional and reflective poem Gautami. Nicely done.

Jack said...

Gautami,

It is always a pleasure to read you. Read all pending poems and post on comment box. I fully am with you on Half-way Throgh and this one is so touching and sad fact of life. I agree with you on comment box. How I wish I could have your views on my posts too!

Take care

Nimue said...

am speechless !!

flaubert said...

Beautiful and sad poem!
Pamela

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I like the way a simple childhood object evoked so many feelings and memories. Life is funny that way.

lissa said...

tender & sad - that's all I can think of

Pblacksaw said...

very good even if it does twist the heart a little.. so many families now a days are estranged one from another.. makes me very sad!

Thanks for visiting my blog.
Patsy

Scribbler said...

This was beautiful and moving. It flowed so smoothly and stirred my emotions. Incredible piece!

Lorraine said...

This is...sensational...a real heartbreaker, bravo Gautami

Wayne Pitchko said...

I don't have anything to say either...silent and speechless....thanks for sharing your wonderful poem Gautami

Tilly Bud said...

This is truly sad. Well done.

ms pie said...

it is hard to be separated from a brother...

MichaelO said...

Beautifully emotive in its sadness, this was a wonderful read, G'tami!

Devanand said...

I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading.The poems and stories are simply superb,Nice blog.