Sunday, October 03, 2010

is it a love poetry or missing muse or nothing?

I hunt for it
not finding it anywhere
where are thou muse-
where have you hidden
when I need you the most

randomly distributed
I gather that in my thoughts
rejoicing again
in the word painting
on my palette  of emotions

cracked surface of the earth
laughs at my naïveté
soar is getting sour
curdled milk is better
at least you make cottage cheese

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

....5 lines where the middle line acts as a pivot, i.e. it can be read in conjunction with the first two lines, or it can be read as the line that leads into the final two. I have tried to do that in each stanza of this verse. Hope it works!

30 comments:

Teresa said...

Very interesting poem. The cottage cheese is quite the surprise ending.

Priyanka Bhowmick said...

yes i agree with Teresa. the ending was really rejoicing. hidden muse brought out a lovely verse!

nimaruichi said...

Liked your palette of emotions, liked even the curdled soar :)

Whitesnake said...

nice touch ........

anthonynorth said...

Great ending.

Deborah said...

Well written and very clever, I really liked it!

Gemma @ Greyscale said...

Love the words "soar is getting sour"! Your palette of emotions reflects the creative spirit seeking new pastures! beautiful!

Systematic Weasel said...

A wonderful piece, with an excellent surprise at the end! =)

-Weasel

flaubert said...

Clever response to the prompt!
Pamela

Rumya said...

Interesting pivot effect. I think it worked quite well.

Nanka said...

Loved this style of Haiku with a central pivot line. Very interesting and liked the way it connected. Excellent!!

keiths ramblings said...

This is so cleverly written and I love the way it ended.

I just watched the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games and thought of you!

ms pie said...

thank you for the intro to pivot poetry... it is a wonderful way of expression reminding me of haiku... each stanza appears separate yet tied intrinsically... glad to have stopped by.. wish

Ramesh Sood said...

You have done great with this experimental poem..middle line works so well...ah, doesn't it happens in life too..Thanks Gautami..newer heights in creativity every day..

Jingle said...

yummy treat,
love the special favors in your work...
beautiful contribution!

Jingle said...

share 3 poems with us within 60 hours... how cool!
love to see you in our place.
stay beautiful all the way.

fiveloaf said...

love it!

Bing (PinkLady) said...

simply beautiful play with words! well done!

Rejoice (Haiku)

Gabriela Abalo said...

cottage cheese ;)

nicely done!

loveNlight
Gabi

umapoems said...

Interesting Poem

Brian Miller said...

ha...i really like those last 2 lines...

Maureen said...

From "soar is getting sour" to "... make cottage cheese": really turns the poem.

irene said...

Nice touch, cottage cheese. Thinking of writing about the muse myself. Sometimes my brain is curdled too.

liv2write2day said...

Perfect word-painting. Very nicely done, my friend.
Victoria

OMJ said...

Wow, very creative!

Shashi said...

yes, you write beautiful emotions simply... Liked it.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

Elizabeth said...

Another good one, Gautami. I like "word painting on my palette of emotions", and "cracked surface of the earth laughs at my naivete". Wonderful lines that lead to "cottage cheese." That's something I can certainly relate to. Thanks again,

Elizabeth

nara malone said...

Love the way you turn words back onthenselves. Clever.

Jingle said...

support us by visiting a few poets near your entry.
thanks for the contribution…

here is one of mine:
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/04/what-can-you-see/

Christine said...

I enjoyed the pivot points; I felt the poem moving and changing direction. Beautiful as always, Gautami!