corners I have covered
with statues which stand tall
a flower vase with a fragile flower
looks soulfully at me
I never had noticed its rampant growth
I touch it gently
feels its tremors
the photo frame from the shelf
falls on the floor
the wooden corners are chipped
I pick the pieces from the floor
set back the photo frame on the shelf
tremors are gone now
my gentleness soothes the flower
its rampant growth is stopped
it still touches my soul
the fragile vase will hold it still
statues will watch indulgently
I will still have my corners covered
30 comments:
very delicate piece. wonderful use of the words.
How clever to have used the prompts twice- it was like a flower uncurling then curling up again..Jae
Along with your poem, I am so happy to read very creative comments by jaerose.. befitting to your use of words..reading you is a constant pleasure..thanks Gautami!
I like the way you used two meanings of the word corners...
Nice...I agree with jaerose too...thank you for sharing this.. :)
As always, a beautiful use of the words. It's a joy to come to your site.
Great use of the prompt. I love the last line. Love and Light, Sender
Beautifully written and I love the last too, wonderful.
I'm not a huge poetry buff but I really enjoyed the ebb and flow of this. Nice one.
Hi Gautami, beautiful touch as ever!
<3 Andy
as usual it's both beautiful and unique
You too chose the topic of latent energy. Well done!
you have that miracle touch in your words.Loved your poem!
I really enjoyed this and loved the last line, it bought it all together and finished it so well.
My 3WW
Gautami, so lovely to read your piece. I goofed and used "rampart" instead of "rampant"!
Double use of words, you smarty, you are so good with prompts. This flows beautifully. Thanks, G.
Amy BL
lovely!!
I really like the way the first stanza sets the scene; a living tableau.
A great idea, a different twist on the prompt. The word Tremor invoked a fear of earthquakes in this context, so I hope you are from that danger.
I love the scene, the story, and I'm still pondering why you need to have your corners covered. Thought provoking.
I could feel the earthquake shaking the shelf. Be well.
Thank you for the comment on my short blog. My writing has moved to the concrete for a while at least. Stop by. http://www.retireinstyleblog.com
b
another stunning post ! love it :)
i love the different ways this poem can be interpreted. beautiful.
JP/deborah
Love the in and out movement and use of corners. The last line is great,
Elizabeth
Really enjoyed this--how you had a sort of descending/ascending cadence to it. Beautifully written.
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/big-tent-poetry-timekeepers/
Ah, the directions you've chosen worked wonderfully well! A fine read, as usual...
Lovely writing once again! I like how you began and ended with the covered corners.
I like the ideas here of what we watch and what watches us, among the tremors.
Heyy
So very creative and intelligent.
When you said 'I bend the rules' I wondered how and hopped over.
And IM glad I was curious.
The concpet of Naisaiku poetry utilised in such an exquisite way.
This is brilliant poetry!
I like the circling back, how every act seems like an incantation.
its like a wave .....well written Gautami.
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