when we least expect it
acerbic words
hit out at the thin walls
of our innermost being
corroding it almost-
echoes reverbate long after
retaliation is stopped
right on its track
as mysteriously
aphasia sets in when
words gets stuck in the throat
neither going in nor coming out
words gets stuck in the throat
aphasia sets in when
as mysteriously
right on its track
retaliation is stopped
echoes reverbate long after
corroding it almost-
of our innermost being
hit out at the thin walls
acerbic words
when we least expect it
21 comments:
Really really like your poems!!!
Who was it? I'll put them straight!
"aphasia sets in when
words gets stuck in the throat
neither going in nor coming out"
it is a great final...I like it
Very accurate description. The words cut you but you can never fling a sword back.
-Nicole
I second Annamari - love that ending. Are you sure this is half a poem? Feels full to me...!!!
Vivid imagery - I like this one, for sure!
Interesting how aphasia is set in contrast to echolalia.
You have a great way with words!
sometimes we all say the wrong words but it is are intentions that is important are they good or bad.
Hi Gautami, I agree with you, this is only half a poem. What you shoud do is take the forty-nine words and repeat them and then just like the title says it will echo!
Two halves make a whole (poem)!
Trying to get the words out, but they stick; you're left with a staccato stutter of repeated syllables - only half-said words that ring and resonate.
Super. I love how you took the concept internally - you're a poet of my own heart.
You are playing with the stanzas. Beautiful, da.
This is a really cool idea, switching things around like this. I'd like to try this with one of my own poems.
Unusual and rather unsettling. good work and great ingenuity.
A.
me likey!
Hi Gautami, I see you've reversed the order of lines so they meet in the middle, I think it's quite a creative attempt but I still think it might work better to simply repeat the first half in the second half. But well done, at least you've got your full poem.
yeah, that describes how my life was behaving a few weeks ago...
oh man...now i can have another hundred reverse posts :)
thank you Gautami! and where did u disappear uh? :(
hugs.
It is surprising...how the poem seems so beautiful both ways. You do have a exquisite way with words. You have me hooked to your blog now!
By echoing "when you least expect it" you reinforce the feeling of vulnerability.
I didn't see it "before" but I like the "after" a lot. The echo/repeat of words and phrases seems apropos of an inability to express oneself - sort of getting stuck on an idea and not getting past it.
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