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| Under Windsor Bridge, 1912, by Adolphe Valette |
in that misty evening
orange light cast a paleness
standing at the edge
he looked at the dredge
what dregs were left behind
in the remnants of his mind
moist air flowed around him
yet in his heart
there was a drought
the water below was as still
as his turmoil
ghostly shadows cast a spell
yet he chose the difficult path
walked away from the edge
"that gap in the bridge is never an option"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My muse seems to be in a vacation. I had to prod it today to do some work!!
29 comments:
Oh you had me at "lopsided smile"...
Hurray, he didn't jumpQ
I can remember the smoggy cities polluted with coal fires and exhaust. There was a certain beauty about them especially when walking in the hushed atmosphere you could think of many things. Luckily he realized that life wasn't so bad after all, difficult though it might be. I must look for a prodding stick like yours, I enjoyed this very much.
Nice work:D
Follow each other?
what dregs were left behind
in the remnants of his mind
How appropriate for this picture full of hovering menace behind its apparent calm...
I am so glad he stepped back..sometimes dregs are heavy and thick..hard to shake off..this piece is wonderfully atmospheric..i don't think your muse has abandoned you..jae
I think you prodded your Muse very successfully!
First time on your site, and I love your writing! Your muse seems to be at his typewriter and working overtime ;) great poem
Enjoyed your description of the moist air under the bridge, in contrast with the drought in his heart. I also like how you called his decision "the difficult path." So true!
really nice word pairings...lopsided grin...but also drought of the heart...
So glad the gap in the bridge is never an option!
i love that you portrayed the more difficult part as walking away rather than jumping. beautiful. x
Ahh... sometimes we are 'made' to make the right choice by a higher power than ourselves. Very evocative write!
Walking away as the difficult choice - a clever twist.
Walking away is not easy, but thankfully he did...
I like your take on this prompt.
And I'm glad he was able to walk away.
=)
very powerful.
roswellgray
I loved this because you also chose to write about another kind of drought, the dryness of a thirsty soul. Really well done, your words paint a picture even better than the one displayed!
For having to prod your muse, this is pretty darn good! I really enjoyed it.
i also love the "lopsided smile" and i'm so glad he walked away from the edge!
a really wonderful take on the prompt!
♥
The opening is my favorite part:
"he hid his lopsided smile
in that misty evening
orange light cast a paleness"
Always a treat to come here, Gautami. I like that you used both "dregs" and "dredge." You really put me there in the scene.
I love that you began with the obvious color orange and managed to peel back the layers until you came to the sweet fruition. Well done and thank you for sharing. =D
You have outdone yourself. I love the twist in the end. Great job!
Mine is here
Have you a ROCKING AND WEEK!!!
hugs
shakira
Too funny, I hate it when my muse takes off and has a more fun than me! Great story, and sometimes we do have to get very close to the edge before we can turn away!
I love the emotion of your words and the "lopsided smile" really paints the portrait well~
Your prodding worked well, Gautami. This is beautiful.
I love the drought in his heart; moist air all around.
Loved lopsided smile and drought in his heart. Nicely done.
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