Friday, October 22, 2010

caricatures of vultures

staircase trembles
under glassy clouds

when paddock falls apart
settled dust rises

mother comes out of nowhere
untangles her daughter from floor

lets both their tears mingle
powder of dust mistily coating them

her daughter has to be kept hidden
her secret to be guarded

"as long as caricatures of those mighty vultures are outside" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*I thought I will not explain but I will write about vultures. They are much maligned but they do clean our environment. However, there are certain section of people who think that they have to cleanse the society. And they are the caricatures here. 

25 comments:

PattiKen said...

That's a little creepy and sad. It makes me think of wars; and cultures where daughters are killed; all sorts of bad things.

Brian Miller said...

intriguing read...makes me want to know more about wheat is going on...and what she is being hidden from....i know that daughters are in danger in many parts of the world...

anthonynorth said...

Great mystery in this. Excellent.

Claudia said...

what an intriguing 55 - wonder what exactly was going on..can only guess

barbara said...

Very effective seed of a story.
As a poem I really like that opening and "mother comes out of nowhere/ untangles her daughter from floor"

Derrick said...

Yes, this does set the mind wondering; what is the daughter being hidden for? Intriguing!

Mary said...

Yes, as others have said, this is a mystery, and I find myself wondering many things. The mention of the vultures makes me cringe.

flaubert said...

Gautami, this is an intriguing poem.
Well done to prompt.
Pamela

sage said...

Well done, you are using words in a way that paints a painful image, but one I'm sure people experience and live

Eric Alder said...

Interesting 55.

At first I thought that 'caricatures' was some term for a group of vultures.

Curious, I checked my BIRD LIST and didn't find a name for a group of vultures...


BUT, a group of buzzards is called a wake - that's close enough for me!

Stranger said...

Very heartbreaking and beautiful. I love how the mother has come to protect and love her daughter. This is great poetry!

Alice Audrey said...

I'm not sure if I'm reading this one right, but it certainly makes a frightful impression.

quilly said...

I thought immediately of war and hiding beneath the stairs. It was very visual and dark and scary -- as is hatred.

Monkey Man said...

Makes me more curious about the back story. Bring us more.

hope said...

Everything under the sun has a purpose...sometimes we just don't slow down long enough to see what the purpose is. Interesting one!

Jannie Funster said...

Ah, yes, the mamas must protect. so many perils. mama and baby deer.

Very intriguing 55!

xo

Thom said...

Wow...this is excellent. I'd like to find out the beginning of all of this. Excellent mystery my friend. Well done :)

Teresa said...

Very thought provoking--it makes me wonder about your inspiration for writing this. Unfortunately, there are many possibilities that I can imagine. Very nice 55.

G-Man said...

Ya know what I say...
ALWAYS leave em guessing!
Loved your story..
Excellent 55 my friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Rallentanda said...

Cryptic and dusty!

nan said...

compact, evocative, and truly frightening. it is what we live with that is scary. quite a poem!

Deb said...

Love the misty coat of dust, and that you note why the use of vultures (which I admire).

Mona said...

Vultures do represent cleansing of rotten meat. In some religions like Zoroastrianism , they are also sign of ethnic cleansing

Victoria C-S said...

Really like what you did with this. Even without the explanation, the poem sets an effective tone of fear or sadness.

Bloggin'withAmanda said...

After I read your notation what you wrote made so much sense in fact creepily so!I agree with Quilly made me think of hiding a child from the "oppressor" so to speak, this is food for thought so to speak!