Wednesday, June 08, 2011

eye for an eye

















while walking the ground
I found a white rounded stone
I drilled a hole
polished it,
found a lid to match
a perfect shape
I altered it into an eye
a beady eye
that stares at me,
tranquil

"I fondly keep my burdens locked in it"

44 comments:

dustus said...

When your creation from stone stares back at you—an interesting thought. Like this one very much.

Paulami said...

the last line is the stunner. interesting that the eye is represented like a stone or stone cold about it

moondustwriter said...

Your quote makes me end feeling inside out - but maybe that's where I started

Edgar Allen Poe would love this

andymac89 said...

Great use of the prompt!

marousia said...

Love this - so simple and powerful

Ron. said...

TOTally ooky, as it should be. Kudos.

Brian Miller said...

guess it certainly gives you a different perspective..haha...nice piece.

mindlovemisery said...

Love the last line! This is a very intriguing poem =)

Andy said...

Stone cold eye...hmm...interesting.

Old Altonian said...

I don't know about Poe, but I'm sure Dali would like this - it's surreal.

jaerose said...

Eww but aah..stones are tranquil..and I am sure they watch us too..Jae

Janet Aldrich (TEC4) said...

Nicely done ... interesting imagery!

irene said...

Nice perspective.

Laurie Kolp said...

Very original take on the prompt...

Helen said...

Your poem is so unique ... thoroughly enjoyable

Ramesh Sood said...

I am happy to be back here.. it is a beautiful read.. enjoyed every line..thanks Gautamy..

flaubert said...

Gautami, your poem fits that unnerving pic quite well.

Pamela

G-Man said...

Gautami...
Creepy and Awesome!!

VL Sheridan said...

Very cool! Love the image of the unblinking eye, always staring. Well done.

LauraX said...

excellent...I love the last line especially!

Mike Patrick said...

A bit of a goose-bump generator, but it is so original, I really like it.

Ren said...

Very nice lol

Fear Not the Darkness but What lies Within said...

Creepy but cool.

Christine Gail said...

A very interesting picture and even more interesting use of the words. Chilling!

izzy said...

Very creative! I can't say I would have made a beady eye-but I do like your
perspective- thanks!

Leonard Blumfeld said...

You let that stone eye come alive.

Elizabeth said...

We all keep our burdens within a staring eye within us. I really like your take on this one Gautami,

Elizabeth

Jessica Prescott said...

Very interesting read

Andy Sewina said...

Phew, I've got a thing about funny eyes!

<3

SandyCarlson said...

I think that eye will wait until the lock turns, the door opens....

Tumblewords: said...

Very unusual - but surely a valid place for 'burdens'.

The Brave said...

I really like the idea of creating a tranquil eye in which to keep ones burdens.

Celestial Dreamz said...

very interesting!

Kwee Lewis said...

A watchful eye, yet beady and stares, you create - interesting. Tranquil, and keeping your burdens - so you are relieved from the weight and now tranquil yourself? The underlying reason for this creation? Or discovered after? So many fascinating possibilities, and all intriguing. Excellent. I do like it quite a bit. Thank you. Beauty is in the eye, even a created one of rock, of the beholder :-)

Gemma Wiseman said...

A wonderful way to lock away troubles in the cold stare of an eye! A beautifully worked poem!

ThomG said...

This piece is so sharp and well done.

the critics said...

beatuiful :)

Tess Kincaid said...

If only we could keep our burdens locked in a stone. Nice piece.

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Nice piece indeed!

Anna :o]

Margaret Pangert said...

Great! I love the fact that the eye-box creates a tranquil place and that you fondly store burdens in it. Burdens need to be locked away, but when you do it fondly you are embracing your complete self; you are whole. Marvelous!

neil reid said...

Like Pinocchio, a real live eye! Interesting what comes to land and thought. And that last line sets it all off so differently. Nice.

sharplittlepencil said...

So gorgeous, that concept, a bit like the sculptor who sees the object within the block of marble. Loved this, Gautami. I'm having a hard time posting the pic on my blog, so in the meantime, 3WW! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/prompt-etiquette-3ww/

Fear Not the Darkness but What lies Within said...

I hvae nominated you for an award at my blog http://sheilaghlee.blogspot.com/

Steve Isaak said...

Clever, imaginative.