Monday, September 12, 2011

an elusive world lurks

The Revenant, 1949, Andrew Wyeth
you gave me black eye
but I had a good fight
I like to show of my bruises
standing tall in my whites
my dirtied whites
yet I cause a sensation
wherever I go
women swoon over me
I sway in that adoration
and corners of the room
hold me upright
but when I look into your eyes
I see scorn in the blank stare
how much longer 
do I endure black eyes
to see a smile on your face?

it never comes
I know it will never ever come
but behind your pummeling
I can see your raging emotions

33 comments:

Brian Miller said...

no one else sees it bu ther and that to me is the scariest part...eerie

Berowne said...

Very unusual take on the prompt -- well done.

Jinksy said...

corners of the room
hold me upright

Great image!

b_ said...

What a story you got out of this. And I agree with Jinksy on that corners image.

keiths ramblings said...

Wow,a really powerful piece. Your contrbutions to Carry On Tuesday are really appreciated. Thank you.

Reflections said...

Interesting take... but too often those bruises go unseen... hidden in the white facade.

Jo Bryant said...

This is a very powerful tale. :)

oldegg said...

What a stunning use of the prompt word and Andrew Wyeth's painting. The inventiveness and the emotion revealed was outstanding.

Ann Grenier said...

There is a definite feeling of threat in Wyeth's stance. Strong reaction to the prompt.

Wendy said...

For me, this goes back to the Western notion of the hero wearing white and the villain wearing black...yet it seems that too often, the "hero" is the villain, if not in word or deed, in terms of his ugly insides and thoughts.

Brandee Shafer said...

I like the end best. He knows there's something there, also that it's more than anger. And even though he doubts he'll ever get it out of her, he's not going anywhere.

Jackie Jordan said...

Powerful words. The character is truely determined ...

jaerose said...

This is full of sensation.. elusiveness..endurance..hiding..I always love the last lines that you separate from the main body of the poem..they seem to be the essence..Jae

christopher said...

gautami! Well done!

Bethe77 said...

Sounds like lots of pain!
Both physical and emotional.
Good write.
Blessings

kaykuala said...

It cuts into the guts.Very powerful words you have here. Great!

Hank

Jack said...

Gautami,

Read all pending poems now and what a feast! I really loved your closing lines on Shreds. You said the truth so clearly.

Take care

Mike Patrick said...

I like it. Sometimes one must weather seething passion to find its desire. Well written.

Tumblewords: said...

Powerful piece - puts the reader inside the artist...

jabblog said...

Unique response - well done.

indiwriter said...

A very good attempt GT. This prompt looks simple, is very powerful as an image, and yet tough to do a piece on.

cheerz,

WyomingDiva said...

Wow - a very powerful piece from the revenant's point of view!

Nanka said...

You have used the prompt beautifully here and much emotions!!

whenwordsescape said...

Great use of a combination of prompts!

Morning said...

love it,

beautiful words.

swapnap said...

this one has an unusual n forced groove to it. very different

Neni said...

wow unique... I like those last lines much... :)

Emanita01 said...

Strong writing & imagery here. I also agree with Brian Miller's comment: "no one else sees it but her and that to me is the scariest part...eerie"

Small question on "I like to show of my bruises": Would that be "I like the show OF..." OR "I like to show OFF..."?
OR, have I missed out on what you meant?

Helen said...

Hello! I had the same question as Emanita .... I must tell you how intriguing your Magpie is. From beginning to end, I enjoyed it.

The Gooseberry Garden said...

love the wordplay.
amazing piece.

The Gooseberry Garden said...

Hohoho,

What charming poetry you have posted here.

Invite you to share 1 to 3 poems with us, anything could fit the theme of object,

Cheers.
Hope to see you in.

Happy Writing..
xoxox

bodhirose said...

Wow--this is powerful--blank stares are the scariest. It's a soul less person who looks back at you with those eyes!

Nicholas V. said...

This is a very dark painting despite the use of pale colours - or perhaps the pale colours highlight its darkness. It was the same with your poem: Dark and brooding, but at the same light in touch.
A good take on the image!