chained it and put it in an iron trunk
It was creating nuisance all over
you and me and then some
that old trunk holds your whiff
it would do the present some good
that nightmarish after shave
I totally dislike,
I poured it in that iron chest
it will mingle with the past
make it a knot of sorts
I will add a card or two
and present the present to you
I am going out of that door to walk the future-
will wait for you near the creek to hold your hand
27 comments:
"it will mingle with the past
make it a knot of sorts" I like the image these two lines created...great piece
It was creating nuisance all over
you and me and then some
Love these lines. powerfull, tearful.
the waiting for you in the end made me smile...we carry a bit of our past, a bit of our present as we look forward...
great homonym poem. Did you not like him?
You evoked a relationship without telling us how you felt, but your images let us know...
I love the idea of making a knot with the past. Can't ever totally get ride of it, though, can you?
Any thing which leads to holding hands seems good to me. :)
Ha! Reminds me of a friend who tossed her couches after a divorce because they smelled like her ex. Love the "present the present" line.
Gautami, some memories are better left in the past. Nicely done.
Pamela
Memories remain memories despite much dislike.Some are good and some are bad memories. Agree with you. Just looking forward and keep the good. Beautiful verse!
Hank
I love that mingle line as well. Scents don't keep to themselves, do they. Nor do our memories. Thank you for participating in this prompt.
an interesting twist on dealing with the past while looking ahead to the future. I liked it :)
Reading this poem is a pleasure for me.
And a pleasure that does not cease surprising me, how it progresses, how it evaporates, then leaves something new in my hand to see and sense. Yet through it all, the poem speaks like an old friend, or brother or sister, close that way. Thank you.
neil
loved it. very powerful with an interesting twist.
It seems that you can't make up your mind:)
I will add a card or two,
And present the present to you....beautiful
Beautifully written. Abs loved it.
clever play on words with layers ...
What an idea, GT! :-)
Ah ... regifting ;). I always enjoy reading your work. I remember you from Gather.
Very expressive and thoughtful. Absolutely loved the last part!
My take is you are ready to move forward but willing for him to catch up. I wonder how long you'll wait.
Wow!
Strong, powerful, really moving... just WOW!
"...that nightmarish after shave
I totally dislike,
I poured it in that iron chest..."
I could smell that after shave! This complex piece is filled with concrete images that make it visual and real. And I love the last line!
Namaste.........cj
Wonderfully written :)
Enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing!
Hello.
I like the imagery created here, especially the opening lines.
Really enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing.
Thief In The Night
Dear Gautami
Its lovely... I enjoyed your last line ... with you walk the future ... you brought out the best of emotions of taking a call... sometimes we do need to ...
"I poured it in that iron chest
it will mingle with the past
make it a knot of sorts"
... our experiences and memories whether it becomes a knot of not... just to be free from it all...
Thanks for sharing. Look forward to your entry in the coming poetry picnic week 8 theme “Friends, relationship… ”
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/10/whispers-love-and-loss-butterfly.html
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