abandoned to erode
that wheel has tales to tell
I don't care to know
I think of all that I lost in snow
hazed snow of the mind
layered by layered
light is my focal point
stirring from dawn to dusk
resting in the darkness
to rejuvenate the heart
when I pick a rusted nail
I sandpaper it
observe the rust fall to ground
I still don't care.
"Can I hitch a ride from you to go to the next town?"
37 comments:
very philosophical!
hazed snow of the mind
Great line!
This says so much! I like the rust falling from the nail.
PS My word verification is "emotrap." That seems to sum up the speaker's feelings very well!
Wonderful tone I thought.
Love the philosophical nature to this piece. Rusted days flaking away, then left for newer things.
loved the play between the mind and the physical condition of the truck..thanks for stopping by ...
cm jackson http://states-of-mine.blogspot.com//
Your poem had me thinking this way.
Junked
The wheel told her tale
in the tracks of rust streaking
down to the gravel
rising up her breadth
of cast iron hub still strong
though sinking each year
further into past
transgressions and omissions
while we just moved on.
beautiful rhythmic quality to this poem and I liked its message.
Love the last almost 'throw away' line!
Great prose.
It's interesting to think of what we don't care to know.
Interesting and reflective take on the prompt.
Lovely stuff!
<3
that wheel has tales to tell
And Magpie has brought them all to the surface! :)
very true.
Beautiful..I love the idea that rust can be worked on to show the light..to clear the snows in your mind perhaps..Jae
Always love your verse, Gautami.
Pamela
A hint of the bittersweet, a pinch of acknowledgment, a good dose of acceptance - just how I like my poems. :) I especially loved:
I think of all that I lost in snow
hazed snow of the mind
layered by layered
light is my focal point
... sandpapering a rusted nail. What an image. I enjoyed your Magpie.
That was soulful and reflective. Lucky nail - to back as new!
Sanding the nail is the perfect touch. Vivid image for me!
I like "hazed snow of the mind---stirring from dawn to dusk" It sounds familiar; the mind seldom at rest.
Very thought provoking!
Blessings
Rust is such an evocative word, perhaps in this case it is the memories of the past as they are discarded and a new life embraced. It is great to read it over and over again.
Very deep,I liked what you did with the prompt...
I have had a moment or two when I simply stopped caring,but with a new day I was rejuvenated osagain :)
Beautifully written in a reflective frame of mind. thank you for your comment on my blog.
Indeed very reflective...good be be back here after days..
Nice.
I get the "don't care to know". Too hard to climb back up. The sandpaper/nail is a fine touch.
If only this wheel could talk...
There are endless possibilities of tales to endure if it could talk. You have brought these out brilliantly.
Hank
I think of all that I lost in snow
Such a brilliant line.
(My word verification is "hikes." Seriously!)
A brilliant poem
Love this. Very thought provoking.
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/he-was-a-ford-man-2/
To borrow your phrase, there are layers on layers of thought, of image, of subtle relationship within this poem. Each has its own reality, its own truth. They rub, cross over each other, yet still stand alone - their own statement of the reality perceived.
I like this poem, rusted nails and all. Thanks!
neil
poetic lines.
masterful tale.
Really good and powerful.
Really good and powerful poem. Thanks for a fine read!
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